Two Steps Away From Death's Door . . .

I'm sharing the following only from the perspective of being a reminder never to take anything in life for granted - especially the really good stuff that you often are blessed with. However, some of us become so consumed with the needs of others that we forget about ourselves, or ... don't make a concerted effort to address things in a more serious manner than what we make a choice to.

Without going into personal details and putting all of my business out in the street, I just spent 5 days in the hospital (basically from female issues) and needed 4 units of blood to get my hemoglobin count up from 3.7 (all you medical types will know what this means) which should be closer to 10 or 12 from my understanding (as it relates to me as a female and my age-range), and was the cause of my not being able to catch a deep breath, or breathe properly - and came with complete exhaustion and weakness - which was incredibly suffering and horrible, not to mention an enormous wake-up call - to the point that if left untreated, I probably wouldn't be here right now writing this to you.

I kept Lykke updated via text when I could, but asked that personal details or information not be shared, so thank you my dear. I was just concerned about some things that needed to be done, as well as alerting Ed why I wasn't around or available.

During the visit to my doctor's office, which is only a couple of minutes away, I never expected that she was going to call the hospital for a direct admittance, nor call 911 for an ambulance to transport me - quite the adventure - no sirens though.

My sister-in-law came to the hospital to get my car and house keys and she and my nephew took care of things that needed to be done since I thought I would be somehow going back home after my doctor's visit. Thing is - due to my profession, I'm quite adept at analyzing and evaluating the psychological and emotional make-up and needs of others, but am a stunningly poor pilot of taking care of myself - hey, self-analysis sucks anyway, and spent very little time engaged in it, but ...

That's what my problem has been - taking care of everyone and everything else first and putting my own (required) needs secondary. However, this wake-up call changes that, and without being selfish, I will make sure that what needs to get done gets done before over-extending myself to the point of neglect. In this respect, I'm no better than some of the dysfunctional and abusive families I counseled over the years, nor a follower of my own preaching and teaching as a psych professor at the college for 7 years, so ...

It's a new day ... and while I will be continuing as an outpatient at a women's hospital associated with the hospital I was at (and just across the street) to complete what is needed to bring me full circle from a health perspective, I will also be very vigilant in respecting life the way it should be respected, and do my part to appreciate it more - which means a better balancing of my time.

My association with Cyrene will absolutely continue, and I am looking forward to the "official" writing projects when Ed and I can get them scheduled, as well as a continuation of the MS9/Senator covert operations, but ... I am going to make a concerted effort to break up the series into more readable segments - (I'm sure Ed will work with me on this) - so that it doesn't take a whole pot of coffee or a half case of Red Bull to get through them.

I'm just an extremely detailed person as a writer, and I like to answer questions that readers might have before they're asked - it's a second-step mentality thing, but I can work with it to make it better for you. Feedback is a good thing, and I've read what some of you have written, so I'll do my best to improve on what I give you.

I will also be active in-game after launch with my official avatar, and look forward to engaging in events and activities with some of you should you make it to Cyrene after it launches.

For now ... I wish all of you a very Happy Holiday Season. I'll be around and checking in at the forum, and even though 5 days doesn't seem like a very long time, due to the circumstances and what I went through, it seemed like an eternity, so it will be nice to reconnect with some of you that I frequently interacted with before being wisked off to another realm in our RL universe.

My very best to all of you ... and thank you again for all of the support you've given me over the past almost 7 years - I really appreciate it. I guess I'm getting all mushy and grateful right now, but having just a slim door between you and the other side where you just don't want to go has great impact and influence, so ...

Just indulge me.

 

My Dear Ordaz ... thank you for taking the time to express your thoughts so eloquently, and with such depth in meaning. They seem to be clinging to brush strokes like brilliant-colored flowers fluid enough to dance across a masterpiece canvas - alerting us that while tomorrow is not yet ours to possess, it's important to take seriously the possibilities when it gets here.

Enough ... is now one of my favorite words, and one perhaps that we both will have more respect for.

Hugs and warmth back to you my "let's get it done at all costs" brother-in-arms!

Tonight we sleep ... tomorrow we move forward and appreciate that we have the means to do so.

 

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Yes, I should have requested full service, eh? However, the tech in the back was hooking me up to an EKG and sticking my finger to check my blood sugar, so I was otherwise preoccupied - first, trying to maintain a decent breath so that I didn't pass out, and second ... getting a sucker punch ready in case she hurt me!

Read the PM and was very touched by it, so thank you my dear - it was perfect.

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Yes, the words from Ordaz were quite special indeed, but then since Day 1 I've been impressed with his ability to paint a canvas with words, along with his thought-provoking sense of humor. And to you dear heart - new plan is already in place, and while the changes at times may seem subtle and may not even be noticeable, I assure you that they are there. I just don't want for those whom I've spoiled to go completely cold turkey! I take full responsibility for that because we teach people how to treat us.

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Thanks Ed, and your comment about taking an artist moment was cute. The only thing artsy I've been involved with in the last week was the IV tattoo I left the hospital with.



Oh, I have all kinds of bruises up and down my right arm and hand as well from being stuck by lab techs to draw blood so they could monitor my hemoglobin count, but I'll spare you. There's one thing I don't get though ... why do they have to wake your ass up at 3:30am to suck your blood - there are some saddistic people who work in hospitals, and I'm sure working a 7pm to 7am shift you get bored, so there's only one thing to do - needlepoint!

Please give my regard to my fellow teammates, and I'm glad we had a chat on Skype as well - it was productive.
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Wonderful words to give thought to - thank you AG, much appreciated that you shared them.

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I promise you that there was no intention of doing it a first time, so I will definitely make sure that what needs to be done is done so that I don't have to experience this again. Appointments are already in place. As always, thank you for your caring thoughts.

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Always trying to get out of something ... gender aside, Part 3 of the current MS9/Senator covert operations storyline is still in the making, and I'm not sure how soon that will be finished or published, but I will be approaching it differently. There's much still to reveal with this current scenario before we move on to a new adventure that exposes more of Cyrene before launch. I will also begin "official" Cyrene character development beginning with Vida as soon as Ed and I can schedule a work session or two for all of this stuff. He was out of town, and I was in the hospital on vacation, so nothing got done.

In the meantime ... I will remain vigilant in looking out for #1 in ways I should have been to begin with, so no problem there, and ...

The "MyStar" seems to be catchy (thank you Jorge), and didn't realize you (Ace) needed an MS9 fix now and then - selfish or otherwise - and thank you as always for your thoughtful moments as well. I would suggest that there is another "Star" in-game, but I doubt that would do the trick ... gender and all ya know!

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Deal ... and thank you for your wonderful email as well. You are another friend whose way with words always captivate me, so continue sharing. Intellect, humor, creativity and artistry with words always impress me. I have a feeling we'll be collaborating on something in the future.

To Danoclese ... your posts and private messages always have a wonderful effect because you are incredibly genuine, but firm about kicking my ass (in so many words ) if I don't do what I'm suppose to do. Your caring (threatened ass-kicking or not ) over the years has always been appreciated, and I'm glad that we have shared a special friendship. Your words as well carry a special message that we should all be aware of, and not be so oblivious to priorities and what's important.

Thank you to those too who have ... contacted me via private message and email, it's appreciated. Not everyone wants to, or is comfortable expressing their thoughts in a post, but I understand that, so no problem.

Everything is on course, and we'll just see how it all works out ... thanks for virtually holding my hand along the way ... it's nice to have such wonderful company.

 

... OMG ... I think I started something by posting my IV Tattoo ... I can only imagine what others might come up with and what they see. My first thought was that it was one of those images in the (psychological) Rorschach Test where you have to tell the shrink what it is that you see ... LOL ... never did one of those, but I'll bet I could mess with someone's mind if I DID.

To Bizzarick and Alien ... I can only shake my head, BUT ... Bizzarick, I can actually see what you see, with the guy on the left and the lady on the right looking like she's on her knees in a long gown and sportin' wings ... wonder what they're watching on TV? Alien ... I have NO doubt that you will follow up with your "people" to make sure that tenacles and eyeballs roll so that there are no issues.

*so ... instead of Purple Rain ... we have Purple Brain ... might need to come up with some cool lyrics to the track*