Planet Calypso: Calypso Blues

Between 1946 and 1950 Ray Bradbury wrote a small series of short stories about populating planet Mars – „The Martian Chronicles“. This is still – 2015! - one of the outstanding highlights of si-fi literature.

Isaac Asimov – another legend of the genre – said about it: „Even if everything else of what he wrote would vanish, Bradbury would be an important figure in history of sience-fiction just because of the 'The Martian Chronicles'.“ I agree with this 100%. (Btw. forget the TV-movie from 1979. You must read the book!)

The mood of these stories is a bit blue and peculiar. And guess what! It fits well to my experiance with my history at Calypso. Unfortunately it is something like „Once upon a time …“ meanwhile.

Several colonists wrote stories and diaries about the colonisation of Calypso. Some in a thoughtful or blue mood, some in a funny way. My opinion is that this small aspect of Calypso's history is worth to be remembered.

Others wrote Calypso history in a different way like McCormick with his videos, Alice in Wonderland with her „Virtual Guide to the Universe“, Jenna (Porn)Star Mercury as one of the high-flyers at all, Jon Neverdie Jacobs as the one who cracked the 100000 $ limit with investments in virtual games and became a planet partner later, Oscar Hurrikane SkyQuake with his epic WoF, famous Calypso reporter Silicon Skam Chip who became staff member of MindArk and was fired later in a strange way to name a few of a wide community. Soooo many other names come to my mind (Pinky, Akoz, Trance, Sarah, Zunami, Nadie, Nea, ViagraFalls … omg!)

Years ago I got the idea to make an anthology named „Calypso Blues“. Like many of my other projects it died and was forgotten. But that's wrong. It shouldn't be forgotten! I will post some of the texts and pictures from this exciting time here.

 

Still one of my favorites is from Red:


12-24-2006

I’m the happiest Christmas tree,
Ho ho ho he he he,
Someone came and they found me,
And took me home with them.

The Omegaton West Habitat is a large collection of apartment dwellings on the western side of Amethera. In one of the towers, in one of the apartments, lives Red. She often refers to the habitat as the “West Slum”, as it is certainly not an upscale neighbourhood.

In antiquity, on Earth’s northern hemisphere, the winter solstice was the time of the last great feast before the famine of winter. The festival brought together the community for fellowship and celebration. In many cultures, a decorated tree, the Tannenbaum, would serve as a centrepiece. Many families would often keep one of their own, in addition to those decorated in public areas. As the winter solstice marked the end of the year, some individuals would also take time from the festivities for solitary reflection and meditation. Red was one such individual.

Now, in her apartment, she had made a small bowl of Atrox tail stew. A Feffoid trader had once taught her how to prepare this odd dish. Once there was a time when there were a few of the mutant Feffoids who were brave, or perhaps foolish, enough to accept human company. The one who gave her the recipe; she had called her friend. While she ate, she wondered what had happened to that particular Feffoid. It was likely not pleasant, she thought, although she preferred to believe he was alive and happy somewhere.

She had turned off all the lamps and the room was lit by the flickering of Advent candles and the soft twinkling of the lights decorating her Tannenbaum.

Clutching a small worn doll, she sat gazing at the tree. She popped the cork off a bottle of Sjoeblom Crystal and poured some into a flute glass. She thought of all the changes in her life – some good some bad. Change is an on going thing, she contemplated. She curled up in her chair and held the doll against herself. She remembered doing the same, as a child. The child, then, she considered, knew nothing of how the future would unfold – growing up, the emigration, the new world - all the horror and delight that is life. Good or bad, it was the people who made a difference – all else is only survival.

Her communications link buzzed. It was a public channel.

“A Merry Christmas to you from your friends at Unlimited Hardware. Remember this is the season for family, and your family is sure to enjoy the wonderful items you can buy for them at any of our outlets. Come on down and enjoy our low, low prices. And while you’re there, be sure to visit Santa and talk to him about our crazy year end discounts on all our quality merchandise. For a limited time only, when you purchase any of our specially selected items, we will donate one PED to the Save the Homeless Children Fund. Remember, with Unlimited Hardware, you can make a difference.”

She turned the link off. Thinking to herself that she should have known better than to leave a public channel open, she spoke softly, under her breath, “you are not my friends.”

Picking up the bottle of Crystal, she walked toward her Tannenbaum. Sitting near it was a Julbock. Handcrafted and made of straw, the effigy of a goat sat quietly beside the tree. The light from the tree and the candles danced soft shadows around it.

She picked up the Julbock and brought it and the bottle out to the balcony of her apartment. She looked up into the sky and gazed at the stars twinkling much as the lights were on her tree. Earth was so far away, she thought, this is now my home. Placing the Julbock on the balcony, she then took several steps back and fixed her eyes upon the goat made of straw. She took a drink from the bottle and mused to herself. Placing bottle down, she then raised a plasma pistol, flicked its energy capacitor to minimum, and fired. The Julbock immediately ignited.

Dropping the pistol, she fell to her knees and watched the flames dance upon the burning effigy. As it was consumed by the flames, she remembered those of her friends who were no longer here to bear witness.

She wept.

 

A fiction story wich pictures the experiance of community help. From my old friend

Clam Jboy Jamphrie

The Ballad of Bravo Girl

Even though Bravo Girl carries a Gloryhound Issue Bravo (or GIB) she is not contrary to popular belief, a Gloryhound. Bravo Girl's story starts off, as do all on Calypso, as life as a noob. Her name was Hedge Witch.
An adventurous and restless soul was she, and it was not long after landing on Calypso that she was off through the swamps and exploring the land of the mighty WoF heroes Eudoria. Unarmed, for she had no ped to buy a gun and could not bear the tedium of sweating, she dodged and evaded her way to many a TP.
But then came the day that she could not evade and dodge enough. She cursed those days that she scoffed at the other noobs sweating, and thus gained no defense skills and didn't earn the ped so she could buy a gun and hunt (a lesson for you all there kids) and was stuck helpless and defenseless in a place unknown to her and alone. Eventually, after what seemed like minutes, fortune took up its mighty hammer and struck her with it. This was the moment her life would change forever.
Fortune, as it is with fortune, was good and happened for her to cross the path of a passing Gloryhound. On espying the obviously distressed noob, the mighty dog of war, held up his slaying to pause for audience with our heroine.
"What ails you, oh pale haired noob?” inquired the kindly Hound.
"You sweat the mobs while they attack me" he said. "When you get 10 peds worth of sweat, let me now and I'll buy it off you".
If the sun could set in Eudoria it would of, and for long into the night Hedge Witch sweated and evaded her way to salvation. Eventually came the day that she had her 10 peds worth of sweat and a boot load of skills.
"Now," said the Hound after buying the sweat. "go and buy 10 peds worth of Medium cells and come back to me when you've got them.”
TEN PED!
She had 10 ped, never before had she ten ped. Why did she need ammo if she had no gun? The trade terminal couldn't work quick enough. On returning to where the Hound was relaxing she was surprised to see him open a trade window. Oh, she thought dismally, he just wanted me to get him ammo.
When the Bravo appeared in the trade window she could hardly stiffle her glee.
"Now take this Bravo young Hedge Witch, and with this rifle take up thy path that is yours to take. Cast aside this ranger and become who you were born to be. Bravo Girl!!!"
Then with a mighty "WOOSH", the handsome, kindly, generous Hound was gone.
Alone again.
But this time, with a fucking big gun.
Bravo Girl smiled as she raised her namsake for her first kill, and after she had killed it, for kill it she did (although she missed with the first shot, but shh) she stooped to dye her hair in the creature's blood.
It is said that now-a-days she has the highest plasma skills in the game. This could or could not be true. However for many a year nothing has been either too big or too small for the Bravo.
Bravo Girl is seldom seen in public places.
She prefers the open plains where the Bravo is at it's most lethal. Still she bloodies her hair red and every now and again you will overhear noobs talking of how Bravo Girl rescued them and guided them home.
Thus told is the Ballad of Bravo Girl.

 

One piece I loved so much came from Lykke:

 

This is a very special one:
Toby’s diary
02-10-2006I died today.
I seem to die a lot lately. I think I need to be more careful what I eat, it really is bad for my health.
For example, this morning I was having my normal breakfast, Snablesnot bacon with Melba toast, when I heard something. So I finished what I was eating and had a good look around.
On the horizon I could see a snack running along. You know the ones in the orange wrapper? Anyway, he looked tasty so I thought, mmm, toast isn’t enough to keep a growing atrax full. Now don’t get me wrong here, I don’t think of food all the time, there are moments in a day when there are more important things to think about, like was Salvador Dali on drugs when he painted his pictures?
So I went over to him to get a taste. Now this is the strange thing about the orange snacks, they always think they can run away from me. This one wasn’t carrying anything funny, you know the sort of thing, - firesticks, or as I call them a Solomate Opalo with an A105 amp. You see, this brings me to another non-food question, if there is no God, as Satre expounds, who updates MyTwoPecs? Anyway, I watch him dodging and weaving, so I ran up to him and gave him a bite or two and he stopped working.
So there I was eating my snack, minding my own business, when this mugger attacked me with a sword. I took my napkin off and gave him a severe chomp or two and he dropped down dead. I had a quick chew of him, before he disappeared, but a couple of minutes later he was back again. I kept killing him and he kept coming back. There is nothing worse than having food repeat on you. Finally, after several attacks I dropped to the ground. No sooner was I dead than he starts rifling through my pockets and grabbed my wallet. I was lucky really; I only had 2 Ped in there as I hadn’t been to the bank all week.

02-11-2006
I died today.
I was getting a bit fed up with the same old food at home, so I decided that I would eat out for a change. So I went to the new eatery at Fort Argus.
Now, I have to say I liked the old Fort Argus a lot, although a bit run down and seedy, it did have a certain atmosphere, so when I turned up at the new place I was surprised by the décor. I always believe that part of eating out is the ambience of the restaurant as much as the quality of the food. The new Argus is a bit antiseptic for my taste, but having got past the Maitre d’ with the machine gun turret, I decided to stay and sample the fayre on offer.
I was refreshed by the speed of service. Almost immediately the starter arrived, fresh newbie. This I ate with gusto, washing it down with a fruity Merlot that I had bought with me (unfortunately the restaurant has no liquor licence).
Next the main course arrived. This was a succulent hunter tartare. I was a little disappointed to find that it had not been seasoned. However, once I’d cracked the shell it was very tasty and not at all tough. This I accompanied with a cabernet sauvignon.
After this I became very disappointed with the service. I had a heated discussion with one of the waiters which resulted in me chomping him several times and some of the other staff started shooting me. Once I was dead, they picked my pockets, taking my wallet and some boards I was putting aside to get made into a table. Luckily they didn’t find the bottle of vintage port I’d bought along to quaff with the cheese board. I was annoyed, however, because I had 40 Ped, as I had been to the cashpoint, so I could give a tip in cash, rather than putting it on my credit card. Needless to say they didn’t get a gratuity and I will not be going there again.
I have also written to Egon Ronay, so I don’t expect them to get a Michelin Star.

02-12-2006
This is a bit of a rant today.
I was watching my favourite movie, Godzilla, and snacking on some microwaved faucervix ravioli this afternoon when I was disturbed by the phone ringing. So I paused the DVD and answered it.
I’m sure you all know what its like to be relaxing from the drudgery of work and be interrupted. Anyway, I took the mobile out of my pocket and hit the talk button. No sooner had I put it to my ear than a voice said “I’m just conducting a survey and want to ask you if you are happy with your current mobile supplier?” WHAT???!!!
I am fed up with these berycled call centres. These big companies move them from my home town to where staff costs are lower and let’s face it, berycleds will do anything for a few bucks. Anyway, I was furious. I ranted for a while then hung up. I was so angry that I bit the head off a combibo double glazing salesman that called at the door a few minutes later.
I think I need to take anger management counselling, the front lawn it littered with dead salesmen at the moment. Mind you, look on the bright side, the doorbell doesn’t ring quite as much.
Berycled jokes
How many berycleds does it take to put in a light bulb?
20: 1 to put in the bulb, 19 to get their plumage right.
Q: How do you make a berycled's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in its ear.

02-14-2006
I died today.
Wow, what a day. I decided to be really relaxed today. I was standing under a tree, chilling. You know how it is; listening to the Kaiser Chiefs on my iPod. Everything was nice and peaceful. I was humming along to the music, reading “The Roads to Freedom”, by Jean-Paul Satre.
The problem is that I must have been singing along too loudly or something and irritated this meal that was passing by. Anyway, I didn’t stand a chance; he sneaked up on me and started attacking me with an axe. Everyone’s a music critic nowadays.
At least I didn’t have anything in my pockets. I know what “this creature did not carry any loot” means, but who are Mindark and why would they want this meal to stick their game there?

02-14-2006
I died today,
It began with a bit of a trip for me. I went to visit my mother in the old trax home. She has been poorly lately, so I thought a visit would be a good idea. I took her a bunch of flowers and Daikiba snacks.
When I arrived she was in the day room, chatting with her trax friends and drinking coffee. We played a few games of chess and then she asked to go for a walk around the gardens.
She was already in her wheelchair, so I pushed her into the lovely gardens. We were wandering through the arboretum chatting about the old days before we had meals delivered by spaceships. We also discussed the fact that the Gods had provided these people to supply food and entertainment for us. I wonder if they realise they are not real like us? Probably not.
Anyway, I digress. Having got to a quiet part of the garden, this woman in blue armour, called Afro, ran up to us and shot us both at point blank range. The attack was so sudden; my Mom didn’t even have time to put her dentures in. She apologised, but that was a poor excuse. It comes to something when you can’t have a walk in an old people’s garden without being attacked.
After we were both reincarnated we complained to the manager of the home and he has promised to put up a bigger fence to keep these riffraff out in future.

02-15-2006
I survived today, but only just.
Valentines Day.
Asked my significant other, Gretchen round for a Valentines Day supper. I cooked roast molisk in cream sauce, with shallots and garlic. Everything went ever so well, we exchanged cards and settled down and drank a nice bottle of wine, followed by cognac. Things were moving along nicely.
At this point I gave her the present I’d bought earlier in the day. She opened it up and found a thong, so she tried it on. She said “does my tail look big in this?”
Anyway, after the wounds have healed I’ll have to go round to her place and grovel. I’ve always been too honest for my own good.

02-15-2006
I died today.
I went over to the cash machine at my local bank. It’s always a trial, taking out money.
First of all you have to wait in a queue behind other people. The exarosaurs can never remember their pin code, because they only have a 10 second memory. Then the berycleds see their reflection in the chromework. That’s it then for two or three minutes while they check their feathers are just right. The molisks are too small and spend ages jumping up and trying to hit the buttons. The cornundacaudas are slow and deliberate about everything and always end up feeding their card back in because they run out of time. Atrox don’t bother with cards, they just come over and rip the machine out of the wall. Bristlehogs just blow up the machine as soon as they touch it. The only saving grace is ambulimax, at least they are too big to get a parking space.
So it comes to my turn in the queue and I put my card into the machine. I get asked for my pin. I always panic at this moment, but then it comes back to me. I key it in and I put in the amount I want to withdraw. The machine chugs away for a while then the display says that it has kept the card and refers me to the teller. WHAT???!!!
I storm into the bank. Admittedly I should have opened the door first, but I was angry. The woman behind the counter says “good morning, I’m your personal banker”. This just caused me to go on a rampage. I mauled the personal banker. I swear her last words were “have a nice day!” I chomped a couple of customers, when one took out a huge great gun and shot me. I have to say the quality of service has definitely declined over the last few years.
I resurrected back at home and called the bank. I complained about the service I received and threatened to take my overdraft elsewhere. They calmed me down and explained that there had been an administrative mistake and that my card would be returned to me by first class post. Unfortunately I ate the postman yesterday. He won’t ring twice again.
The trouble is that now I haven’t got any money, I can’t go down to the pharmacy and get the dressings for the wounds that Gretchen gave me yesterday. Well at least the guy who shot me didn’t get any either.

02-17-2006
I died today
What fun I have had. I got a PM from a young trax who wanted some help and advice about surviving in Calypso. Before I knew where I was there was four young atrax and me out hunting.
Walking through the hills we looked great. Our skins shone in the evening sunlight and my new waistcoat looked wonderful. We ate a few berycleds along the way and started looking for real food.
Anyway, I was pointing out to the youngsters how to look for the right prey. First, the ones in orange wrappers are good for a chomp. The next clue is what shell the meal is encased in. Green, some blue or grey/green is fine. Orange, deep blue and other colours should be attacked as a team.
Over the next few hours we had a glorious time, chomping and eating our takeaways. The youngsters were really increasing their skills. Two of the guys had reached 700 tooth skills, whilst the others were skilling their claws very nicely.
There was a team of six meals approaching from the west, so we carefully skirted around them. The young were learning the fine art of waiting, carefully observing the prey. Anyway, that was when Ron turned up. Let me explain, Ron is an atrox mature.
Now I have to tell you that atrox are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. Fast? Yes. Powerful? Yes. Intelligent? No. Unfortunately, Ron is one of the more intellectually challenged atrox, which means he has the intellect of a slug who has been taking too many mind altering drugs, which is ironic, bearing in mind his frequent use of marijuana and other substances.
“What yer doin'?” asks Ron. “Getting around that six pack of meals over …”, but before I could finish the sentence Ron was off like a bullet, pounding across the plain like an express train with teeth, the smoke from his spliff trailing behind him. So I turned back to the young only to find I was standing alone, they were hurtling along behind Ron trailing in his testosterone fuelled wake. “Oh well,” I thought, “I’d better keep an eye on them”. So I started charging across behind the line of furious dinosaurs as they swooped into the group of meals.
I think that it would have been a success had Ron attacked one of the better equipped people, as he caught them completely unawares. Instead he took out one of the orange suited ones, giving the others time to get their weapons into position. Ron went down under a hail of guns and melee weapons, while the young accounted for all but one of the hunters, but died in the process. So when I arrived there was me and a well equipped hunter facing off.
I took a few chunks out of him, while he was shooting away at me. I could see his health going down, the same as my own. I’d got him into the red, when he whips out his fap and desperately starts trying to heal himself. I keep snapping at him, but it didn’t do me any good and he gets the final shot on me and I drop to the floor.
Unfortunately for him, as I hit the floor, a exarosaur walks up behind him, takes one chew and kills him. If I wasn’t dead, I’d have laughed myself ill.

02-18-2006
I died today.
I decided to treat myself and go to see Big Momma’s House 2 at the local cinema.
Saw it to the end. Came out and begged the first hunter I saw to kill me. He obliged.

02-19-2006
I died today.
Today I was down the pub, having a pint and listening to Ron, the atrox, telling everyone about his latest run in with a hunter. The trouble is we all know someone like Ron. After a few cheap lagers, they’ll tell you their life story whether you like it or not. The trouble is if you don’t listen to Ron it’ll be your life story that’ll be short.
So he’s leaning his two left elbows on the bar when a noob walks through the door. Suddenly everyone goes silent. The only sound is the jukebox playing a mournful tune in the background. Then an ominous sound begins to rise in intensity, it’s the sound of mouths slobbering in anticipation.
The noob goes up to the bar and asks the barman for a drink. It’s obvious that the noob has a death wish. The barman however wishes to stay very much alive as can be seen by the shaking of his hand as he passes the drink, a pint of Marston’s Pedigree, to the newcomer. He’s thinking, ”If I hunker down quickly under the counter there is a fair to reasonable chance that I won’t be hit by this bloke’s flying entrails”.
Meanwhile, a foul guardian sticks its head out of the door, looks around and retracts it again. It wags its head to indicate there is no one else in the street. The anticipation is now reaching seismic proportions. The noob appears completely oblivious to all this and continues to down his beer, until, with a last gulp he empties the glass and sets it down at the bar.
If the atmosphere was electric, it was now like a lightning storm. The noob walks towards the door, opens it and steps through. The pub explodes as all the mobs hurtle to the door to get at this tasty morsel that is now immediately outside the door. There were atrox, argonauts, atrax, feffoids, maffoids and me all piling into the space that is a doorway. There are teeth and claws flying everywhere as the animals fight among themselves to get through. After a few minutes it is apparent that we are not going to get through the door because we have all killed one another in the attempt.
The noob then steps back into the pub and starts ransacking the pockets of all the mobs. Having completed his grand larceny, he tosses some small coinage on the bar and says, “Have one on me,” and calmly walks out again.
I tell you that Duck is going to have some answering to do when I pass him today’s episode of my diary.

02-19-2006
After yesterday’s events, a pal (Derek) and I had a deep discussion with Duck about what he did at the pub yesterday. Please see the photo.
We went into a great deal of detail about the demerits of the system that allows people to rob the dead. The sanctity of the body after death has been enshrined in many deities, and pointed out to him that he should support the belief system that allows the honour of the dead to be upheld. Oh yeah, then we killed him, ate him and stole all his loot.
We then went to the local shops. I went into a jeweller’s to get a pair of earrings for Gretchen. For some reason she is still not talking to me after our Valentine’s night celebration. I still can’t understand what I did. Anyway, I’m hoping this present will go some way to smoothing things out.
Derek got into a bit of bother when he went to buy an ice cream and chewed up the sales person. An easy mistake, but the security guards didn’t see it that way and he ended up dead.
I finally went over to see Gretchen. She opened the door when I rang the doorbell and invited me in. I said that I’d bought her a present and gave her the gift wrapped box. She took a look at the small package in her hand and said “You think this is going to make up for what you said?”
I presume I gave the wrong answer as she killed me. When I resurrected I found the earrings on the floor in front of me. What puzzles me is if she wants me to give a particular answer, why give me a choice? I’ll never understand women.
BTW, I appear to have a fan. I think she might have used better materials, but hey, a fan’s a fan. Here’s the picture:

02-20-2006
I got a PM from Ron, evidently some of the atrox were going to participate in the annual PVP Flora Marathon, and wondered if I’d like to come along with some pals and join in. I immediately phoned the youngsters to see if they were up for it. They were thrilled. I asked Gretchen to see if she wanted to come along as well, but she said, "Only if I can stamp on your head". I think she's beginning to forgive me.
We arrived at the start line south west of the oil rig. The course goes straight north east directly through the rig area and out to the edge of the zone. The whole group was assembled. The serious runners were at the front. Many of us including Ron, his friends, the youngsters and me were in the middle group and the novelty runners were at the back.
Some of the novelty runners were dressed up in fancy costumes. Two umbranoids were in divers’ outfits and some atrax were dressed up as humans. The atmosphere was like a carnival. As we set off the front runners streaked off away into the distance, while us plodders following in their wake. The cloud of dust raised by the two hundred-odd dinosaurs was something to behold and must have been visible for miles.
As we entered the rig valley, it was apparent that the front runners had already travelled through. There was a distinct lack of activity and not an uber in sight. There was, however, a number of dead trox lying around. We carried on at a reasonable pace and came to the finish line, followed a little while later by the rest of the runners. After 26 miles, I have to admit to being tired out, but what a great day.
So if you see a load atrox and atrax hanging around together, it’s nothing to do with herding, but practicing for another marathon.
I got home and ate a mouse. It was a sort of spur of the moment thing really. As you can imagine there is not much nutrition in a mouse for me, but there you go. After this happened I felt pretty foolish as I had to go down to the computer shop and buy another.

02-22-2006
I died today.
This afternoon I decided to spend time at the beach to improve my tan. I called Gretchen to see if she wanted to join me, but she was somewhat curt on the phone, telling me that she was fed up, not hard up. My persistence is definitely paying off.
When I arrived, it was quite crowded. There were loads of animals around basking in the sunshine. A few of them were having a swim.
I was just getting ready to have a dip when I felt an itch. I looked around and saw a snack in his underwear holding a pistol. I thought, “How convenient, a meal delivery and its already unwrapped”. He took a look at me and fired again. I was starting to get annoyed; I swear he’d scratched one of my scales.
So I looked down at him and said, “Excuse me, please don’t do that”. I think it translated as, “WWRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!” He looked up at me, gulped and ran for it. Now you know me by now; I’m a sucker for a moving target.
He ran towards the shore and kept going, with me in hot pursuit. I got a couple of snaps at him when everything started to go horribly wrong. I had forgotten that I can’t swim. Red dot to blue in 30 seconds is not something I’m proud of. Next time I go to the beach I’m taking inflatable water wings.

02-23-2006
I died today.
I have been reading some books about diet lately. I am beginning to wonder if I am eating too much meat and that perhaps I should go for more vegetables instead. I read in these books that too much red meat causes cholesterol problems that lead to heart attack and disability.
My first port of call was the supermarket. I got a trolley from the park and set off at an oblique angle whilst trying to move forwards. What is it with trolleys? Someone has to design these trolleys to deliberately be this bad. No one can convince me that this is an accident. Someone out there is having a colossal joke that amuses him every time he drives past a supermarket.
I get inside and walk down the fresh fruit and vegetables aisle first. It’s been a long time since I was last in this section, but the first thing I notice is the huge hike in fruit prices. Since the arrival of pets things have got ridiculous. On the subject of pets: what self respecting mob would demean itself by being tamed? When someone comes near me with a whip my first thought is, “do I eat him with it, leave it as an accompaniment or use it as dental floss?” Whips – yeah, right. Mind you, I wouldn’t mind a pet human.
I then went to the vegetables. I was beginning to notice the prices and getting severely disenchanted. This stuff grows in the ground, doesn’t it; if someone didn’t dig it up, it would still be there, wouldn’t it? It was at this point I had the groovy idea that I’d go get my vegetables off the plains, like a lot of the other dinosaurs do.
After leaving the supermarket and the infernal trolley far behind I headed into the hills and started gathering vegetables to take home to cook. Unfortunately, a number of other mobs, including exarosaurs and snablesnots crowded around me and told me that they didn’t want a carnivore coming around stealing their food. At that point a dozen or so of them set upon me and killed me. It was all a bit embarrassing really.
I’ve learnt my lesson I can tell you, I’ve thrown out all the cookery books and have gone back to good old meat. After all, I didn’t get this far up the food chain to just eat vegetables.
Right then, where were those exarosaurs, I’m feeling quite hungry.

02-24-2006
I died today.
This was a special day for me. It was the birthday of my publisher Ducks daughter, Phie. Duck was in celebratory mood and we talked at length about her achievements, both on Calypso and in their world. I felt quite sorry for him really; after all he is just the product of a computer program, instead of being real like me. However I didn’t try to dissuade him of his delusion.
He is like a fly on the forehead of a cornunducauda. He tells the cornunducauda to turn left or right and he obeys. The corn doesn’t mind the slight diversion and it gives the fly a more pleasurable trip as he thinks he’s in control.
I asked Duck what he had bought her to celebrate her birthday. “Amongst other things a pair of cordless headphones to connect to her computer.” Came the reply. I then asked him where she was at the moment as I wanted to wish her a happy birthday. “East of the Limnadiam District.”, he said. So I used my TP chip and popped over.
She was just using a claim rod to dig up some minerals, so I tapped her on the shoulder and said “Happy Birthday”. At that point she pulled out an axe and killed me with it. She then looked down at me lying in the grass and said, “Oh, sorry Toby, didn’t realise it was you.” Nice, not only am I killed, but she didn’t even recognise me.
When Duck listed her achievements, he neglected to tell me about her increased axe skills. He also didn’t mention her failing eyesight and memory. I must have a word with him about that.

02-27-2006
Oh what a panic I had today. I came into the living room and opened the curtains this morning and looked around to make sure that my pet gerbils were ok. I immediately noticed that one of the tubes was not connected. I looked around inside their tank to make sure they were both there, but one of them, Faustus, was missing.
This just sent me into a panic. I was picking up all the furniture, making sure that she hadn’t run under one of the chairs. I moved the computer, the television, DVD player, the hi-fi system. I swear I looked under everything and was beginning to look under grains of dust and sand; still no sign of her.
After I had calmed down a little bit, I decided to bait the room with a selection of her favourite titbits. I placed the food at a couple of strategic places in the room, sat down on the chaise lounge and waited. Twenty minutes later I noticed a little nose peep out from underneath the table. Damn, I’m sure I looked under there. I waited for Faustus to come over to the food, but she was very cautious and knew I was waiting for her. I looked up and saw the other gerbil, Mephistopheles, was looking at me and laughing at my vain attempts to apprehend her friend.
Further furniture tossing then ensued as I desperately tried to scoop up my wayward rodent. She dodged back and forth so quickly I couldn’t grab her. She knew I would be careful not to hurt her and she took advantage of this as she ran between my legs. I nearly turned myself inside out.
Finally, she must have got bored with all my antics and she dived into the tube and back into her home. As she entered, she looked back at me, laying exhausted on the floor and said, “You know Toby, you’re not in my league.”
I tidied up the room and went back into the kitchen to make myself a nice herbal infusion. I sat down and started sipping my brew. It was at this point I contemplated what Faust had said. I could not believe that I had been completely outwitted by a small furry rodent. They are more difficult to control than my pet noob.

03-01-2006
After yesterday’s debacle with Faustus, I decided to take it nice and easy today, rather than go hunting on the plains. I checked in the fridge and I found some cold cuts that I then assembled into a nice sandwich. While I was there I also pulled out a nice cold can of Guinness, which I poured into a glass.
Having done my preparations, I went into my lounge and pulled up to the desk and sat down. I downloaded a brilliant game a couple of days ago, by the name of Project Earth. For those of you unfamiliar with such things, this is known as an MMORPG. If you want to know what this means, have a look on Wikipedia.
In this game you are the controller of an avatar, called a human. It is really fascinating. You can interact with millions of other players in their cities that are much larger than ours. These then form part of units called Countries. There can be many cities in a country. These are the equivalent of our continents, but you can get more than one country on one of their continents. I must admit that I still find it quite disorientating, all those avatars around the place. You can use a third or first person view, as you prefer. I tend to switch back and forth according to what I’m doing. There are even PVP zones in this game; called battlefields, where the avatars team up to kill one another. They seem so artificial and unrealistic somehow, after all, who in their right mind would fight over oil or land?
One of the cleverest part’s of the game is the way you can do things on your avatars computer. For example, there is a game on there called Project Entropia, that looks just like here. It is so clever; it even has the same names for all the places. Mind you, no game can ever be as good as the real thing, but it’s a brave try. The only thing about this game is that it has all the avatars stuff, but none of ours. Oh well, perhaps on a later version.
The most amazing part of this game is its depth. You can meet with other avatars and make decisions that affect loads of the other players. For example, I was speaking to another player the other day (George, who put me onto this game) who said that he got his avatar to declare war on another country. I asked him why, he said “it seems a fun thing to do.” He said there was a red button that he really wanted to try next time he was logged on. I said, laughingly “Don’t press that big red button you n00b!”
I must have spent ages on the game. The hours went by like minutes, its amazing how it flies by. I stopped to have some gluggs of the black and white and finish my sandwich, by which time it was quite late. Then I remembered that I had promised Gretchen a phone call earlier. I called her number and she answered, so I apologised for not calling earlier. She said, “Are you playing on that bloody game that George told you about?” I sheepishly admitted that I was. “You’ll get addicted again, like you did with Quake”, she added. She was right, but I can control it.
Now then, just another hour …

03-01-2006
I died today.
So, I have finally ripped myself kicking and screaming away from Project Earth. I phoned Gretchen and told her what I’d done. “Who’s my brave boy then?” was the reply. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but somehow, I don’t think she was sincere in her praise.
I noticed something wasn’t right when I went into the kitchen. There was a large puddle of water on the floor and the ceiling was damp. I rushed upstairs and into the bathroom. Sure enough there was a leak in the pipe behind the sink. I went back downstairs and rifled through the yellow pages looking for a plumber. Jeez, it’s easier to find a needle in a haystack than a plumber after hours. Duck was telling me that they arrested a man in London under the anti-terrorist legislation. The news report then said that he was a plumber. His reaction: “Don’t they think it’s hard enough to get a plumber already?”
After spending an hour on the phone, and coming to the conclusion that there had been a terrible catastrophe that had wiped all plumbers off the face of the planet, I put a bowl under the drip and went to bed. The following morning I phoned a molisk plumber and got him to come out and fix the pipe. It took him 30 minutes to do the work. He then presented me with a bill for 1500 PED! I’d never been mugged in my own home before, so to me this was a new experience. I paid him and he left. At least he didn’t give me a cheery ‘Have a nice day’ as he left. After all it isn’t easy to talk when your head is eight meters away from your body. Expensive meal, though.
I then decided to go out for a walk, so I TP’d over to the outpost SW of Echidna to see what was happening. I travelled east for a while and met an old friend, Frank, who was sitting chewing what was left of a miner. I then went further west where I encountered a hunter. She came up to me and said. “Hey, you’re Toby.” I said, Yes” and she pulled a gun and shot me down. I tell you, nowadays everyone’s a critic.

03-04-2006
I died today.
A number of you have asked where I live if not on Eudoria or Amathera. Well, perhaps a number is a bit of an exaggeration; a few of you have asked. Ok, ok; a reader has asked me where I live. I live on the continent of Polmerro. Like the two main continents it is on Calypso, but thankfully it is not inhabited by anyone except us mobs. After all, we prefer to keep the riffraff out.
As you have probably gathered already from my earlier diary entries, we have a pretty good lifestyle over here. We all live in our own homes with all the comforts you would expect from the modern world. The beauty of this is that once we’ve spent the day working on Amathera or Eudoria, we can return home and put the rat race behind us and get some well-deserved relaxation.
I was reading through The Polmerran, our local newspaper, this morning and analysing how things were going in our community when I read a small ad. It said, ‘For that romantic day, why not hire a punt on the river?’ I rang the company and booked a punt for the afternoon. Now came the tricky part; I phoned Gretchen and asked her to join me at the wharf by the river at midday. Her reply was, “Does your internet connection reach that far?” After ignoring that barbed comment, I took what was left of my manhood to the department store and purchased a hamper to take with us and a couple of rather nice bottles of Henriot ’95 champagne. These were arranged to be delivered to the wharf at midday as well.
My timing was vital for the next phase. I had a long shower when I got home and put my favourite waistcoat on and dusted off my boater hat. I then put this on and set it at a jaunty angle. I was ready to dazzle. I arrived at the wharf at 11.45 and relaxed waiting for Gretchen, the food and drink to arrive.
The food arrived bang on 12.00 and was loaded onto the punt. For those who are unfamiliar with this form of boat, a punt is a flat bottomed, low sided vessel that is propelled by the use of a pole to push against the bottom of the river. At 12.30pm Gretchen turned up. I was sitting there drumming my claws on the side of the boat. Gretchen glared and said, “What?” “Nothing.”, I replied through gritted teeth. “Calmness and serenity, calmness and serenity, I will not get angry, I will not get angry.” Better now, la-di-dah: “Just lovely to see you.” I helped her onto the punt and made sure she was good and comfy.
I stood at the end and started us off down the river. Gretchen was relaxed, enjoying the sun and admiring the scenery. After half an hour we stopped under the shade of a willow tree and had our lunch. The picnic was superb and the champagne went down all too well.
After a few hours we decided to head back to the wharf as it was getting late. I stood up and went to the back of the punt and took up the pole. It was at this point that I realised the effect that the champagne had upon my co-ordination. Gretchen was laughing out loud at my attempts to control the, by now, out of control river craft. Somehow it had now been endowed with a mind of its own. Every time I tried to get it to go in a certain direction, it went the opposite way.
Some mobs went past in a cruiser and asked if they could help. I made it quite clear that no help was required; however it may have come out somewhat slurred. Finally, the inevitable happened; I fell off the punt into the river. As I have mentioned before I cannot swim, also I have still not bought any water wings. However, Gretchen was very resourceful; she grabbed the punt pole and swung it round to let me grab it. In her enthusiasm, she swung it with a little too much eagerness; as a result it hit me like a nightstick in the side of the head and knocked me unconscious. You can guess the rest; I sank to the bottom and drowned.
The consequence of this is that Gretchen had to be rescued and turned up at my house both furious and concerned. I was sitting at the dining table nursing an enormous bruise on the side of my head, with an ice pack pressed against it. “What kind of moron falls in the river off a boat?” She said, “How many kinds are there?” I replied; and “What about you and the pole?” Her reply came back, “Serves you right for getting your head in the way.” She then threw one of the empty champagne bottles at me, which is why I now have two lumps on my head.

03-06-2006
I died today.
I woke up this morning sporting an interesting hangover, the alcohol, the pole and the champagne bottle had combined to create a cornucopia of pain that I can only describe as exquisite. I went into the bathroom and had a look in the mirror. I shouldn’t have done; the view that it presented was less than encouraging. I appear to have grown withered horns, one on each side of my head, where the various items had impacted. My tongue looked like it was coated with paint and my eyes were so bloodshot I was surprised I could see out of them.
Travelling downstairs I went into the kitchen and put the kettle on to make myself a cup of tea. After downing two large mugs of steaming Earl Grey, and the help from some Aspirin I felt a lot better. The colour was starting to come back into my face and it was looking a reassuring shade of green. Then the newspaper arrived.
Across the front page of the paper was a headline that read “Polmerran Party Animal Drowns in Punt Pole Pratfall,” with all the gruesome details of your diarists mess yesterday at the river. Worse still, there was a colour photograph of me trying to keep on the surface whilst Gretchen was beating me with the pole. It was all very embarrassing I have to confess.
I had to be in work early, so I TP’d over to Eudoria and started patrolling the plains looking for quarry. While I was out, Michael, one of the young Atrax, came up to me. He said, “Hi Toby, saw you in the paper this morning.” Great, now everyone’s talking about it. I tried to laugh it off and carried on patrolling.
After about an hour I spotted a meal up on the ridgeline, so I pounded over and attacked. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the other hunter with him, but he sure saw me. Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to go out with sunglasses on.
Sometimes, it just feels like its better not to get up in the morning. I should have taken a sick day.

03-06-2006
After the disasters of the last couple of days I made a conscious decision to stay indoors today and lick my wounds. I also want the opportunity to walk down the street without passers by sniggering, and in one case falling over in convulsive laughter. You know the saying ‘When you laugh the world laughs with you, when you cry it’s because you have a noob caught in your throat’, ‘waiter, the toothpick please.’
Anyway, I decided to watch a DVD and selected Crash as it had just won the best picture award at the Oscars. I was a little disappointed as it was not half as realistic as Jurassic Park. Now, there’s a love story, between a raptor and his food; and a chewed up lawyer: marvellous. At least in real life if I take one out hunting I can just eat him instead of ‘accidentally’ shooting him. You people have no sense of fun.
Having finished the film (very good despite my reservations) I went out onto the patio and relaxed on the swing and read my latest book, The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli. The concept that the end justifies the means has considerable value in the way that people on Eudoria behave sometimes. I sit and listen to them talking about scammers who steal others things without a moment’s conscience and I wonder where evolution took the wrong turning.
I called Gretchen to say hello. Her opening answer was, “Hello water baby, how are you?” I was not amused. I mentioned that someone was threatening to ask Lootius to grant her +656899956 strength. Her reply: “I don’t need that to kick your butt, I only need a pole.” As I hung up, I could hear her mocking laughter in the background. Cruel and unusual is what I call it.
I went into the kitchen and poured myself a tumbler of Laphroaig and went into the office to answer my emails and play Project Earth. After a few more tumblers of this glorious liquor I was feeling very content. It was after this that the phone rang; I answered and it was Gretchen. She said accusingly, “Have you been drinking?” I said, “What is this, Jeopardy?” The phone went down with such power that I believe the concussion could be felt in three counties.
A few further hours went past and I finally fell onto the bed in a drunken stupor; or at least I would have done had it not jumped out of the way at the strategic moment when I was in mid-air. I landed in a crumpled heap on the floor and decided that was the safest place. I propped my head up against the ottoman and fell asleep.

03-09-2006
I died today.
Well I have finally recovered from my self inflicted illness. I am now back to my snappy, happy self. Bring on the hunters and don’t spare the noobs.
It seems the publicity has finally settled down. The snigger level has gone below audible now. Even Gretchen had stopped mocking me. I set off to Eudoria ready for a full days work and started scanning for meals. That is the major problem with taking a few days off; you find that your food is either take-aways or ready meals. The trouble with the latter, I have found, is that there is too much salt. The trouble with take-aways, especially Chinese take-aways, is that once you eat a Chinaman, you are hungry a couple of hours later.
I decided on a change of scene and went up into the hills. The thing I like about the hills is that if I stand on the top I feel like the king of the world. The view across is just so wonderful. I thought I’d have a nice easy day, wandering around and if a snack crosses my pass then I’ll deal with it. Unfortunately, I didn’t factor in Ron.
I could see Ron on the other side of the ridge, wandering around, looking for prey. As he looked north, I looked south and noticed a clump of dinners coming up the hill towards me, all in a line. There was about six of them, so I bided my time then struck.
The first one went down like a sack of potatoes; then I hit a second one real hard and most of her health had gone. Three, four and five then pulled various weapons and one opened fire. This immediately attracted Rons' attention. “I’ll save you”, I heard him say and he came tearing up the hill towards us. Now you have to remember that Ron is like an old Jaguar E-Type, terrific at high speed, but limited manoeuvrability and no brakes to speak about.
Meanwhile, two was gone; I’d finished off number 3 and was turning my attention to number four. It was at this moment I was hit so hard by the juggernaut otherwise known as Ron that I was knocked out cold. Unfortunately for Ron, he was travelling so fast that he hit me and kept on travelling – straight over the cliff. It is said in space that no one can hear you scream. Whoever said that never heard Ron’s shriek as he plummeted over the edge. I defy anyone in a vacuum not to hear it.
As a result I was shot, bludgeoned and chopped to death, and I didn’t even know it.
Ron, if things don’t improve soon, I’m going to have to ask you to stop helping me.

03-09-2006
I died today.
Okay, things are getting nasty now. I went out yesterday to Amathera. I’m normally not one to wear a monogrammed shirt, but my Auntie Ethel had bought be a rather fetching pink bowling shirt with my name on it. Now, I’m not a great bowler, my legs are great but the arms? Well the arms are a bit short for the job, so I tend to spend most of the time drinking at the bar, while the others carry on. After all, I do know how good my arms are at lifting beer glasses – excellent. Mind you, I have been practicing.
For a change, I thought I’d travel to Amathera to see some pals. It’s been a while since I had been over there and I had forgotten how pretty it was. I spent some time chewing the fat with them all, exchanging war stories and discussing whether Kierkegaard was the father of existentialism or merely an extention of Hegelian philosophy. As is the way with us we drifted across the plain as a group during the debate.
Once I’d said my goodbyes, I looked around to work out where I was. At that moment I spotted a muzzle flash, followed by a ding. “Damn”, I thought, “that scratched one of my scales.” I immediately spotted the shooter and turned to attack. I saw him change weapon to a Fire Forge and shoot again. I dodged one, but the other two hit; a minor irritation, but no problem, after all, he wasn’t going to get another shot in time. Then he pulls out a sword and starts having a go with that. It amazes me where they find the room for all this stuff. I don’t know where he buys his cargo pants, but I want some!
He put up a good fight, but I bit him a few times in the butt and he dropped. It was as I was doing my victory dance that I realised where I was and froze. I was standing under a turret. I then started walking away, very, very slowly indeed. I was tipclawing away when a snack came up and took a shot at me with an Opalo. One swipe and he was gone; but I knew the second I did it that I was dead. The turret opened up and just turned me into Trax Tartare.
The final ignomony was that the hunter I had despatched and had resurected, was trying go get my shirt off. My question is, what is a gay, necrophiliac with bestiality tendencies doing here?

03-11-2006
Another day of havoc at Chateau Atraxo; Faustus and Mephistopheles, my pet gerbils, have a robust relationship. They often have spats and go to neutral corners to calm down. Well last night Faustus decided that Mephistopheles wasn’t going to be allowed into the bedroom. Sigh, how like life is this?
As a result, when Faustus had gone off to sleep, Mephistopheles ran into the bedroom and set about her and chased her all over the gerbilarium. They often do this, but this was more active than usual. Anyway, it appears that in her hurry to get away, Faustus hurt herself. So I have been nursing her and making sure she eats and drinks properly.
I said to Faustus, “Why did you play Mephistopheles up so much?” “Because I can,” she said. “But she gets really ticked off,” I say, “Yeah, she does,” comes the reply with a smile. It all loosely reminds me of a song by Was (Not Was) called How the Heart Behaves. Here are the lyrics:

She ran him over like a bus
But he seemed to feel no pain
Just laid there smiling
Like a flower in the rain
She shrunk his ego down so small
That he didn't even know his name
She knew no other way to love
That's how she played the game
But when he got her in a darkened room
In the still of the afternoon
He became her entire world
And she cried like a little girl

The line between pleasure and pain
Can't be measured by means of the brain
Mere reason alone can never explain
How the heart behaves

She wrapped her claws around him
Like a crab around a rock
It was baby this and baby that
She never let him talk
He couldn't see his shadow
She was always in the light
And if he moved she arched her back
And dug her claws in tight
But when he got her in a darkened room
In the still of the afternoon
He became her entire world
And she cried like a little girl

The line between pleasure and pain
Can't be measured by means of the brain
Mere reason alone can never explain
How the heart behaves

And they said that he'd break
How much more could he take
And just when you thought that he'd kill her
She gave him a kiss, it never missed

And then one day she ran away
With a guy she hardly knew
She left a note that said
I'm bored with me and you
He found another girl himself
A high-heeled hurricane
There was no calm inside her eyes
Just a promise of more of the same

The line between pleasure and pain
Could not be measured by means of the brain
Mere reason alone can never explain
How the heart behaves

That's how the heart behaves
The heart goes boom-boom
Take a listen

I’m hoping tomorrow will be a better day and I can go out and get killed, as usual.

03-12-2006
I died today.
Normally I don’t use my diary as a whinging point, but today I’m going to make an exception. Let me explain.
I decided that I was going to take a trip up to Club Neverdie. It’s been a while since I was last up there. To be honest the gravity difference doesn’t really agree with me; it upsets my stomach. The good news though is that, unlike the meals, I don’t have to take a spaceship there as my teleport chip takes me.
When I arrived there were lots of pals around as there is a dome dedicated to our entertainment, where we can hunt all kinds of food, all the time. I really wish they’d sort the gravity thing out. After spending some time catching up with all the gossip, I felt it was time to get back to work.
One of the best places to find prey is over by the teleporter. I was watching a couple of people waiting by the TP itself, so I made myself wait for them to come out a little way, away from the guns. Sure enough they came out a little way and I circled around them. They were wandering along as I stamped in for the kill.
The first one was a bit tough, but I killed it in the end and had a good chomp. The second one was hacking at me with an axe. I gave him a few chomps and he whips out a FAP. Now this is what I’m moaning about; I have not found anywhere to purchase a FAP, otherwise I’d be using one too! Anyway, after some fapping, I start getting attacked again, so I have another couple of chomps and he starts fapping again. This time I keep chomping, but he is healing faster than I can damage.
He gets back to full health and starts attacking me again. Finally, he gets the better of me and I fall over dead. He immediately starts rifling through my pockets and I hear music and he gets a golden glow around him. I was carrying 150 ped in my wallet, which went, along with some other bits and pieces.
In the light of this I’m starting a campaign, called GUMSF – Give Us Mobs Some FAPs. Let’s level things up and get our shops selling FAP’s.
By the way, Faustus is getting a lot better. She is being fed by hand and beginning to get used to it. Looks like I’m going to be doing that all the time as she enjoys it.

03-14-2006
I am so angry. Do you remember the other day I had a problem with the water and had to get a plumber in?
Well I got the post this morning. I don’t get it delivered through the letter box on the front door any more after having eaten a few postmen. Well they will keep sending me bills and I know you shouldn’t kill the messenger, but sometimes they look so appetising: especially when I haven’t eaten for a while. It comes to something when you are being persecuted because of your eating habits.
The consequence of this terrible and unwarranted prejudice is that this morning I went to the gate and was hit in the face by six letters with a rubber band wrapped around them. The band got caught around my snout; so I looked ridiculous. The postman said “post for you, Mark Spitz”. Ha, ha, very droll. I wonder how funny he will taste when I eat him. Time will tell.
So I looked through the letters; first thing to go was the Readers Digest offer, then the invitation to take up a timeshare in Afghanistan, and the application for a personal credit card. The next one was the electricity bill, followed by a dividend cheque for some shares I purchased last year.
Finally, I look and there is a brown envelope, the last one in the pile, hiding like a thief in the night, waiting for its moment to pounce. The envelope has the name of a plumbing company on the front, the same plumbing company that sent an engineer out to fix my pipe problem.
I slipped my claw under the edge and slit it open. Sure enough, the letter was addressed to me, the same as the envelope. It was a bill. How did he manage to get the bill to them? Is there some kind of invoicing system that operates from beyond the grave?
Well, what could I do? I had to pay the bill otherwise they were going to take me to court. I solemnly wrote a cheque and put it in the pre-paid envelope they supplied. Ah well, there goes my dividend.
Mind you, if there is financial leakage from the afterlife, I’m in trouble with the tax department. Perhaps Afghanistan is far enough away, now where is that advert …

03-16-2006
This is a short diary today, as I’m sort of busy. You see I’ve been Many baiting today. I saw him going into the atrax zone on CND and I thought I’d have some fun.
He told Duck he’s been looking for me all day to add to his kill list, so I’ve been dodging around the hillocks, keeping just beyond the range of his rifle. Heh, heh, heh. Every now and then I pop my head up over the top to see where he is and give a glimpse of me, then I drop down and swing around the back. It’s driving him mad.
He’s been popping off atraxes for days now and been getting lots of loots and some globals, so he isn’t doing too bad.
Ah well, back to my fun. Ooo, here he comes again.

03-21-2006
I died today.
Sorry folks, I’ve been away for a few days doing my financial stuff for the year end. You know how it is, a self employed trax’s life is full of paperwork. You can tell how busy I’ve been, I haven’t even had time to play Project Earth!

As a result, I felt I needed a bit of a treat, so I decided to have a nice bath in the river that separates the two halves of Eudoria. Before you ask, no I did not plan to go in too deep so I drowned, ok? So I headed over and got ready to go into the water. I hung my waistcoat up in one of the trees and blew up my water wings. I took my organic, non-soap scale cleanser out and laid my towel on the ground in the sun so that it would be nice and warm when I got back. There was a light breeze moving in the trees and it was lovely and peaceful.

I placed the water wings under my arms and waded out into the cool clear water of the river. The sun speckled on the top of the water like diamonds and the light danced in and out of the waves I created as I walked. I got to my thighs when the moment arrived. You know what that moment is, don’t you? It’s the moment when you have reached the deepest point you can get before your genitalia have to go under the water and make your eyeballs pop with shock.

There are generally three types of folks at this moment, waders, dunkers and divers. The waders are the ones who carry on walking and wail mournfully about how cold it is, the dunkers are the ones who lift their legs and drop with a scream as the terrible moment arrives. The divers meanwhile, dive under the water and immediately immerse themselves. It’s difficult to tell if a diver screams as usually he or she is too busy avoiding drowning and anyway the water stifles any shrieks. I am a dropper myself. I don’t have the nerve to wade or the swimming ability to dive.

So after dunking, I was exo-paddling about, then I returned to the shallower waters and started washing myself. This is where it gets embarrassing. I had finished washing, when I heard gunfire. I immediately shot up and looked around; as I did so I punctured my water wings. “Not to worry”, I thought, I’m not too deep; I can stand up and walk to the shore. Unfortunately, in my haste, I put my foot down on the bottle of cleanser, this slid out from under and I toppled over, hitting my head on a claim rod that someone had left around.

As consciousness slipped away, I thought “This has got to be the dumbest way to die”.




04-04-2006


I died today.

Don’t you just hate supermarkets? I was down at my local Traxco yesterday, looking for some ingredients to make a special supper for Gretchen and me later on this week.

We have reached a major celebration in our lives as it’s our three month anniversary. No, we haven’t been going out for three months; it’s actually three months since she last pounded me to death. I consider that to be quite a milestone. And who said this relationship would never last?

Anyway, back to the supermarket. I’d collected my items and decided to buy a sandwich for lunch; what a mistake, firstly the range, it’s enormous. I remember when I used to work in an office, I used to go and get a sandwich and there was a choice of snablesnot, daikabu, cornundacauda, cheese or beef; that was it. Not nowadays, there is so much choice that I ended up banging my head against the refrigerator in frustration. In the end I got a Wensleydale cheese sandwich with caramelised carrot, apple chutney, crème fraiche, baby spinach and rocket on extra thick wholemeal seeded bloomer. I swear I’ve read shorter books. As for the ingredients list, by the time you are half way down you are losing the will to live and what is E330 anyway? My theory is that E330 is silly putty; it certainly tastes like it. It’s funny, the more they tart up sandwiches, the less flavour.

So I took my basket to the till and joined the ‘ten items or less’ queue that is inhabited by the innumerate. I have always noticed that whichever queue I’m in, the other queues around me move faster. Usually, by the time I arrive at the end of the checkout the customers in the other queues have arrived home, unpacked their goods and started cooking their meals. I’ve had relationships that have not lasted as long as my time in a queue.

Whilst pondering the dynamics of queues, I happened to look down at the basket of the person in front of me. There must have been at least 20 items in there, so I stomped on her. So I looked at the basket of the next person in the line, 15 items, so he got the full attention of Toby’s Terrible Teeth. Within a few minutes I’d got rid of most of the queue. Some saw me coming and started taking items out of their own basket and putting them into the one of the next person in the queue, but that only slowed me down a bit. By the end there was carnage where the queue was, bodies were piling up to left and right as I hacked and stomped my was through.

Finally, there was three of us in the queue left, so I waited patiently for the two in front of me to get served, I put my basket in the niche designed for it in front of the conveyor belt and started unpacking. The checkout assistant looked up at me and started to process the items on the belt. As the final item passed over the bar code scanner she said “uh, oh”. “Uh, oh”, I replied? “Eleven items”, she said. I looked down and counted them; she was right, eleven items. How could I have made such a mistake? Then I spotted it, a copy of Hello! magazine was lurking behind the aubergine. What was that doing there? Then I realised, someone had slipped it onto the conveyor while I was distracted. I looked at the assistant and said “Do I look like the sort of person who’d read Hello! magazine?” “Yes” she says and pulls a gun out and starts firing.

As I lie dying on the floor I look up and see her standing over me. “Was that because I had eleven items?” “No”, she says, “It’s because you are a git that reads that horrible mag.” Harsh, but fair.




04-22-2006


I died today.

I’ve been up to CND again. The more time I spend up there, the more I enjoy it. A couple of weeks ago I had some fun with Duck. He was out hunting in the domes with his fancy new armour on.

As soon as he reached the Atrax dome, I got three of the youngsters to jump him. He was dead as soon as he got out of the guns range. Looks like he needs to buy some better armour still; he got the message reinforced when he came back and I killed him again, although this time he did put some scratches on my scales.

I carried on hunting for a while, mauling a few people here and there and generally enjoying myself.

I then went home, had a shower and decided to get something to eat, as the fridge was empty. I travelled across to town and looked at all the signs for the various eateries; all the major chains advertise on television, the radio and in the magazines and newspapers.

Having studied advertising very carefully, I have developed the universal law for advertising. This is that the more a company advertises the poorer the product or service is. With this in mind I went to KFC (Kentucky Fried Chirpy) for dinner. Having ordered my food, I sat down at the table to eat.

As I opened the box, I was greeted by this soggy, limp bread roll, stuck around a greasy bland piece of meat covered in an equally greasy coating. The adverting says that it is coated in 13 secret herbs and spices. I presume that the reason they are a secret is because no one would eat them if they knew what they were.

I took a chomp on the chicken; it was disgusting. I now know why it’s called fast food, because I can tell you it reached quite a velocity as I threw it across the restaurant towards the counter in disgust. Unfortunately, as I did this, I felt a catch in my throat. I was coughing like mad and couldn’t get my breath. As I lost consciousness, I prayed “please don’t let Gretchen know that I choked to death on a chirpy bone”.

 

Another long story. This time from Epic. If I remember right he never published the last charpters. Vice versa: he deleted the story at PCF because he was afraid MA would probably use it without asking for permission. But I did. I asked him for permission to publish his wonderful story in Calypso Blues and he gave it to me. Okay, that was years ago and I don't know if this permission still counts. I will delete it here as well on demand. For now enjoy it!

The Misadventures of Epic
(An Entropia Universe novel)

===

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening
Chapter 2: On Mutants
Chapter 3: An Umbranoid Speaks
Chapter 4: Recovery and Reflection
Chapter 5: Distractions of a New Year
Chapter 6: Revelations
Chapter 7: In the Belly of the Beast
Chapter 8: Reconnaissance
Chapter 9: Argusudu and the Mind Ark
Chapter 10: Cerberus or Bust
Chapter 11: Flexing My Muscles
Chapter 12: The Argonaut Cave
Chapter 13: His Majesty
Chapter 14: Mood Swing

===

Chapter 1: A Rude Awakening

July 1, 5005

I woke up this morning to a guy in full Shadow armor kicking me in the stomach and calling me a noob. I cursed at him and grabbed my gut. He laughed, ran over to the teleporter, and vanished. Welcome to the planet Calypso, the final frontier.

The previous night, I had passed out near a revival terminal high in the old wrecked city of Zychion. That's where I go when I need to unwind. Strewn around me are ten or so empty bottles of Alice gel and some Bombardo rinds. The thing about Alice is it gives you a nice buzz, but ends up killing you after each bottle. I say killing but the scientists on this planet were "nice" enough to make sure we "neverdie" - a phrase they use in their brochures. Even the Grim Reaper won't come to Calypso.

So when I'm feeling bored or lonely, I grab a couple bottles of Alice, sit down next to a revival terminal, and chug my cares away. By the third bottle, I barely notice the extreme discomfort that the revival process causes. I do have a medium sized apartment over on Amathera but I can't drink there because after each bottle I end up reviving outside of the apartment complex.

It's been a tough couple of days for me. I'm running out of the cigars I managed to smuggle through the space gate on my way here. I'm careful to run well away from any town or other person when I light one up. If anyone saw it or even smelled it, they'd shoot holes through me and take my smoke away while I'm reviving. Happened to me my third day here on the planet.

That was seven months ago. Wow, has it been that long since I teleported down to Cape Corinth from the space station? My hair has turned totally grey since then. To say I regret coming to Calypso would be a monumental understatement. The Federal Empire and OmegaTech Incorporated sold it as a grand adventure and a way to do our part in saving the planet from the evil Akbal/Cimi Base Matrix. They called it "Man's Greatest Quest, Part Two." I had a military and engineering background on Earth and I let myself get caught up in the hype about saving the world and making a huge fortune.

Since then, all I've managed to do is scrape enough sweat and dung off this rock to buy an axe and a gun so that I could waste whatever money (they call it "peds" here) I had repairing them. Lots of folks here hold out a futile hope that they'll accumulate enough gold and silver on Calypso to build a jump gate and transport back near Earth. They conveniently forget that the transport costs way more money than any of them have.

Most of the gold and silver that does exist on this rock is in the belly of the beasts. One of the first transporters to come here after the 800 years of isolation following the first Base Matrix attack had a cargo bay full of armor, guns, and currency for trading with the remaining citizens of Calypso. The residents were in the process of investigating the Odysseus Probe that had just miraculously returned. We all know what happened next. The robots attacked in the famous Battle Over Calypso 300 years ago and many ships went down, including the massive Odysseus Probe.

All the supplies and money rained down on the planet. It didn't matter anyway. Most of the humans who could have traded at the time were caught up defending their way of life or dying in the process. So, instead of using it to help the human race, the money and supplies became food for Atroxes, Armaxes, and all the other life forms on this science experiment gone bad.

Now it's up the brave soldiers to get it back and take this planet back at the same time. Yeah right. I'm starting to think this is a glorified prison colony. When the nice parts of the Galaxy get overpopulated, they just ship a few thousand suckers to Calypso. Population problem solved.

I'm gonna have a bad day if I keep thinking like this. You can't die here, so you have no choice but to fight. I haven't even heard any breaking news about the Base Matrix in months. They must be waiting for something big. Nobody knows what's happening on Akbal or Cimi. There's a lot of communications we get from the Space Station and Federal Empire bragging about providing a ship for every pioneer and promising that we'll win this war and all become millionaires. I remain skeptical.

The scientists I came here with continue to experiment and develop technology for the war. They better be making progress with all the robot parts we brought them a few months ago. We spent a lot of time and energy getting those. A few days ago, I heard some drunks in the Twin Peaks pub whispering about a mutant carrying around another strange artifact. When will these wild goose chases end?

If I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd wonder why these highly valuable thing-a-ma-bobs keep getting into the hands of the enemy every two or three months. The craziest things happen on this planet. It's a tough place to live and there are few moments of joy. On the other hand, there are some very good and dedicated people trying to win this war. I hope everyone back in the safe part of space realizes that.

Sometimes I have this dream where I go on an extremely profitable hunt and loot one of these uber, "all-time high" type items or find enough money to build a ship. Then I blast off from Calypso and fly through the orbital defense system we've built. I rocket into the Akbal/Cimi system, destroying every Titan of War stupid enough to attack me. Finally, I drop a quantum bomb right into the heart of the evil Base Matrix, saving the universe. The dream always ends with me landing on Treasure Island and seeing every citizen of Calypso cheering and throwing flowers at my feet.

Yeah right. I'm usually more concerned with finding my next meal or ped to care about some future that may never happen. The powers that be actually want the robots to keep teleporting here and attacking. Some trash can called GAIA says if we keep fighting and dying over and over, we might be able to come up with a way to knock out the Base Matrix for good. That's the fancy "Project Entropia" everyone jokes about down here on the surface. I'll believe it when I see it. The huge corporations don't do anything out of the kindness of their hearts. I hate the robots, but at least they don't care about profit margins.

I think I'll polish my MK-4 and scrape up enough peds to repair my pathetic First Aid Pack. I bet the guy in Shadow who woke me up this morning doesn't have to worry about stuff like this. He must have brought a huge bag of gold with him when he came here. I brought a few coins, some granola bars, and cigars. Whoo hoo. I guess I need to chat with other people more often so I don't get so down on everything.

When I touched down on this planet, I shortened my name to Epic, because I realized my former life was over and I guess because there really is an "epic" feel to everything I've gone through. For thousands of years, human beings have written and edited grand stories about their origins, gods and heroes. These epic stories give us an identity and a shared mythology.

What really sold me on the Calypso experience was a chance to contribute to the story of the human race and connect with it on a universal level. I'm not the richest person on Calypso, and I'm not the best fighter or miner, but I still have a vague feeling that some way, somehow, I will play an important part in this ongoing tale of the human race.

I think I'm gonna go take apart some Drones.




Chapter 2: On Mutants

September 15, 5005

I spent at least a solid month killing drones. They never stopped coming. Generation 1's, 2's, and up...all of them. The evil Base Matrix just keeps sending them in waves through deep teleportation. So you get freakouts like the one I just went through. A hunter decides they have had enough and they pack up enough food and ammo to last them a while and just keep killing, seeing if it makes a difference.

Sometimes it does, but this last hunt made me feel like Sisyphus. For every one I killed, two more would slowly climb up and appear at the top of Skinny Mountain south of West Orthos Mound. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore so I packed up my camping gear and managed to clear a path back to the teleporter. I didn't even die once. Got back to my apartment and counted up my loot. I lost a small amount of money but that's a victory these days. I got a tiny pile of ores from the bots and a piece of crap gun that I'll never use. Might as well swing by Port Atlantis and give it to a new sucker.

A few minor burns from laser blasts I failed to dodge are still there, but they've been healing fast. With the "Atomic Compression," "Resurrection," and "Teleportation" technology invented in the recent past, we colonists don't even ask questions when we get totally shot up into a million pieces and end up far away with minor burns. We just laugh and drink to the engineers. I guess without these "modifications" the robots would have owned Calypso a long time ago.

Getting home from my robot freakout, the area around the Genesis Star Towers was empty. There wasn't anyone getting a haircut on a balcony, or running over to the repair and trade terminals. Even the jerk snipers took the day off. I guess that's what happens during the Calypsoan summer, not that the weather is any different during the other three seasons. Everyone's probably over at the Corinth beach getting a little sun and pretending they are back on Earth.

Never been to Earth myself. It's pretty much a legend these days - an overpopulated paradise for people who never left or rich corporation types who can afford to go there. There are so many developed planets between Earth and the outer rim that it would take a lifetime to visit all of the cities on each one. I only went to three different planets before I got banished here by Omegaton. A lot of people think that winning the war will force the Federal Empire to spread some of the amazing Calypso technology to other remote parts of the inhabited universe. That would make people happy, but I don't really care about them. They aren't getting shot at by Warriors all the time.

I'm getting a little off-topic. The 'bot freakout took a lot out of me, so I just hid out in my apartment for a few days, eating caroots while I stared off into the waters around Genesis and Treasure Island. It's a peaceful scene full of blue Amathera waters and sandy yellow beaches. I was so tired I ignored the C.H.A.T. system and it's annoying little whistle that tells me someone wants to talk to me. I'm sure my society thinks I've gone nuts but then again they're used to me acting like a loner. Societies are funny on Calypso. Some days they seem like the most important thing on the planet. Other days, they seem like an arbitrary social club designed to help us cope with the neverending war.

Once I was rested up and had recovered my wits, I decided to spend an afternoon among the Umbranoids. What can I say about Umbranoids? Sure, they look human until you get real close. A lot of colonists feel queasy about killing them because of that. They usually change their opinion when they take a short En-Blade to the back when they are trying to run away from them and have to revive. The Umbranoids bitterly hate humans.

Ethnographers and anthropologists sponsored by the Federal Empire come to Calypso every so often to study the mutants. The origin of these creatures goes back to the first time the Akbal-Cimi Base Matrix turned on the humans almost 1,400 years ago. I can remember being a small kid at home and my parents reading me the story of how the robots attacked for the first time. Some drones working on a Space Gate became ruthless death machines in minutes. They destroyed the Space Gate and slaughtered almost everyone working on it. They the bastards swarmed the planet, killing most of the early colonists and spreading their mutating radiation all over the place.

Every child knows this story. It has become a universal myth. The humans rallied enough to get the Exodus working again and evacuate as many survivors from the surface as possible. There was only enough antimatter left to briefly open the Space Gate back up. A group of soldiers, scientists, and engineers rushed through with equipment and supplies. Every remaining human on the planet huddled together in The Haven.

It took another 800 years before the survivors had cleared the planet of radiation and rebuilt any sort of planetary defense. During that time, any humans who had not been killed or had not banded together in the safety of the Haven were left out in the nuclear clouds of radiation to change or die. Over the centuries, they mutated and evolved into characteristic species living in their own habitats.

The Argonauts dwelled in caves, slowly losing their human language to a system of grunts. They became warriors of brute strength and their human appearance changed into the look of a wild mud-colored animal. The hardest to study, Argonauts stay hidden deep within their mountains and only come out to hunt. They are thought to have their own culture and mythology based on legends of a lost king and an elaborate royal cave. No new information about them has been found in decades.

Thorifoids are probably the smartest mutants on the planet. Once you see one of them, you'll never forget it. Their skin is bright blue and they stand much taller than the average human. The male variety would be strong enough with just his brute strength but he has also evolved to possess a sort of telekenetic magic attack. The scientists still don't understand how ths is possible. The female varieties are brutal, often picking up spare human tools and using them to bash our brains in.

Living in clans, they engage in coordinated attacks on our settlements. A couple weeks ago a warlord from one of the clans got his hands on an ancient superweapon, some gigantic War Axe that could have really put the hurt on us humans if he hadn't been stopped. A man named Dreicc or something finally put the warlord in his final resting place and made everyone on Calypso feel a lot better. Thorios are a sub-species of Thorifoids. They are weaker and less intelligent and as such are used as slaves by the stronger Thorifoids. We refer to the whole ugly lot as "Thoris." Nobody feels bad about killing a Thori...nobody.

The mutant species anthropologists know the least about are the Calumasoids. There aren't many of them living on Calypso, but they are almost certainly a close relative or sub-species of the Umbranoid. They are good fighters who attack quickly and they have kept many of their human features intact.

I'm pondering all of this as I make my way Southeast from Fort Medusa. There's an Umbranoid town near here and I'm heading there to see if I can clear it out and take a few of their possessions.

A few months ago, I had an interesting chat with RDI (Research and Development Institute) clerk Trob Tedser. He had just finished up his last interview with one of the EBN reporters about the whole "Operation Scarecrow" initiative. The man is kinda hyperactive and he jumps from topic to topic. Anyway, we got to talking about the robots and the mutants and he let something slip out of his mouth in his excitement - something about an "Umbranoid conspiracy."

I asked him about it and he denied ever having said anything and quickly walked away from me. Some guards then "politely" escorted me out of the RDI headquarters. As my face his the concrete, I filed that little piece of information away in my memory. Now I'm remembering it and I want to find out more on my own. I can't keep wandering around killing stuff, it's depressing. I want to be a part of something important and this Umbranoid conspiracy thing sounds important.

Ah, there's an Umbranoid Male Worker now. Just walk a little to your left you brain-dead, ugly mutant and you'll be in my scope sight.




Chapter 3: An Umbranoid Speaks

October 31, 5005

I have now been to all six Umbranoid towns on Calypso. They are not fun places to visit. These mutants don't prize hygene as much as we do and they don't prize their appearance much either. They do wear clothes, but they are always soiled and tatterred remains of clothes they stole from each other or from humans. The women sometimes go without clothes, which would be great if it happened in Hadesheim, but it's not very appealing to the senses when an Umbranoid does it.

The first town I visited was Lumnikak, the one I mentioned that's southeast of Fort Medusa. The place stunk of rotting meat. All the Umbra towns are old and worn down, but this one was the worst. I had to blast my way through a herd of them to get into the town and look around. They all rushed at me as fast as they could with their devilish short blades, but I managed to get to Lumnikak without reviving. My First Aid Pack took a fair bit of decay in the process.

I looked around the three or four small houses and climbed into a very old lookout tower. I guess it used to be a human outpost, maybe a hundred years ago. I've never heard of the Umbranoids building anything so towns must have been stolen from us. I didn't find anything that might relate to a "conspiracy" but I did find a large amount of hairspray bottles. This made me laugh out loud since the Umbranoids don't even have hair! I guess somewhere in their twisted minds they decided that they needed to steal all the "stoopid hyumans'" hair spray. It's pretty hilarious.

They've taken so much from us that I felt no shame in taking their stuff. I grabbed the hair spray and some wool and blasted my way west to Limnadian District. It took me a while as I was weighted down with my ill-gotten goods. I dumped it off in storage, repaired my First Aid Pack, and headed off to Zatikak, which is East of the Scylla mountain range. I do have to admit all of this exploration and political intrigue has been good for me.

My depression about the sorry state of my life has gotten better and I don't spend all my time brooding about the robot menace. That's probably because this fool crusade I'm on feels like it's related to the war. Whenever something mysterious or bad happens on Calypso it's usually caused by the robots, Omegaton Industries, or the Federal Empire. Omegaton has been obsessed with developing the land and the Empire has been obsessed with bringing new colonists here, so I don't think they are trying to ruin Calypso.

A lot of wild scenarios were running through my mind when I arrived at Zatikak. I stopped before engaging in any combat to stretch my arms and finish off my cigar. As the first Umbranoid rushed at me, I flicked the butt of my cigar right into her face and she recoiled to block her eyes. The next thing she saw was laser fire coming from me and I'm afraid to say that was the last thing she saw.

There weren't many Umbras around Zatikak on this day. They must have been off chewing on brains or whatever they do in their ample free time. I was disappointed to find almost no spare materials laying around. To get some revenge, I set fire to a pile of spare clothes they had laying around. Now I would unleash more naked Umbranoids on the brave colonists! It gave me a brief laugh and I set off for the next town. Sure, it was a little psychotic, but then again so is this planet and its endless war.

The next few towns were pretty mundane. I killed some mutants, looked around, took some wool, and left. All in a day's work for a brave and noble warrior like myself. I'll give credit to the Umbranoids for one thing. They pick beautiful locations to set up camp, often next to a nice river with scenic a background. Who knows if they ever stop to appreciate this? They might not have deep thoughts but they do possess some kind of rudimentary language from the signs they make warning us not to come into their camp.

I had never heard of one of them speaking until the day I arrived at Farikak. The sixth and final Umbranoid town of Farikak, located north of Orthos West Mound, held a few surprises that I didn't expect. The other camps had been mostly built of wood or old human outposts. Farikak held a gigantic metal building situated at the front of the camp. I approached it with fear and curiosity. Had they built it from scratch? That seemed impossible.

The door wouldn't budge. It was locked or bolted from the inside. I tried to climb up on top of it but that didn't help either. The structure had thick walls and seemed like it was designed to hold secrets. As I was sitting on top of this structure with the sun setting, I heard a clinking sound of metal on metal. About 30 meters away, an Umbranoid Male Gatherer was locking a metal door he had just came out of.

He seemed to be acting like a human, looking around with suspicion and locking the door as soon as he could. He hadn't seen me yet and I slowly crept down from the building and around it to intercept him. Just as he was starting to run off into the plains to the North, I grabbed his arm.

"Now where would you be headed, mutant?" I snarled at him.

He groaned in pain and longing to be free. I could tell he held a key in his other hand and I tried to reach over to his other hand to grab it. I wasn't fast enough as he lifted his hand to his mouth and swallowed it.

"Oh you had to do that didn't you?" I exclaimed.

He groaned again and seemed like he would chew his arm off to get rid of me.

"Why do you have a key?"

No answer. I pulled out my gun and held the hot barrel to his neck. He started to whine and panic.

I told him, "Give me one reason not to blow your head off."

I didn't really expect an answer because I didn't think Umbranoids understood human speech. I had planned to kill him and get the key from him, though I was not looking forward to the latter part. He then surprised me by staring deep into my eyes for a couple of silent minutes. Then, he looked down in shame and uttered,

"Argammemnon. He makes us do this."

The hair stood up on the back of my neck. I didn't know what to do. He looked so sad and I could see in his eyes that he was a slave to someone or something and he hated it. I suddenly felt extremely remourseful for killing so many of his kind. Perhaps the Umbranoids are smarter than we thought, and a misunderstood pawn in the war between robots and humans.

The Umbranoid Male Gatherer snapped out of his malaise and tried to run away again. I had my hand firmly clenched on his arm. I could tell he regretted talking to me and felt like he'd be in serious trouble with the other mutants if they found out. I decided to let him live and drag him back to Tob Toblerson so that he could interrogate the Umbranoid.

However, at that moment the ground rumbled and shook like nothing I'd ever felt in my life. It felt like the whole planet was shaking. I slipped and fell to the ground, banging my head against the outside wall of one of the Umbranoid houses. The Male Gatherer ran off as soon as I took my hand off him to brace my fall. The key was gone, along with my chance to learn more about him. My head was pounding with pain. I managed to run back to Orthos and duck into a Shop Container after the shaking subsided. Dreams of frightened and enslaved Umbranoids eating keys and whispering to each other filled my head as I lost consciousness.


Chapter 4: Recovery and Reflection

November 20, 5005

I have a centimeter-long scar on my head courtesy of my fall in Farikak. It's a constant reminder of the day meteor debris fell and shook the whole planet of Calypso. The scar stays there even after I revive, so there must be some glitch in the revival system. I keep intending to tell Tob Toblerson at RDI about it but he has other things to worry about.

When I finally gained consciousness three hours after my fall, my head had stopped bleeding and the pain had subsided a little. Miraculously, nobody stole any of my stuff while I was unconscious. I'm always hearing horror stories about people falling asleep in public and waking up with no armor, clothes, or weapons. In this case, the people around Orthos were probably just as distracted as I was and didn't see me passed out in that shop container. If any of them saw a dazed Umbranoid Male Gatherer talking and running, they didn't tell me.

It turns out that we all came pretty close to being wiped out forever that day. A gigantic meteor had been rifling toward Calypso on a straight line towards Treasure Island. It would have destroyed most of our technology, preventing us from reviving. In addition, the meteor was being escorted by a battalion of robot ships. I guess their function was to pick off any colonists or human ships that survived the meteor hit. It was a bold move on the part of the Akbal-Cimi Base Matrix and I am seething with anger thinking about it.

For over a hundred years, our Orbital Defense System has done a fair job of keeping large forces of robot ships away from the planet. In the ensuing time the robots have developed deep teleportation systems which accounts for their heavy presence on the planet. However, they must not be satisfied with small invasions anymore. This time they decided to ram a hole in Calypso with a gigantic rock. It's almost a human-like plan, leading the conspiracy theorists among us to propose that something or some "one" else is giving the giving the Akbal-Cimi base matrix ideas.

These new ideas are being carried out by rapidly-evolving robots. Once upon a time a Second Entity was the most feared of them all, a fighting machine with two arms and two legs that could strike fear into the heart of any hunter. But now a new one called "Big Bulk" is showing up in these attacks. I saw one a few weeks ago when the robots attacked Cape Corinth. Big Bulks are human shredding machines with arms that can crush through any armor. I'm afraid we humans haven't invented anything in many years that can match a Big Bulk toe to toe so we're forced to group up in the hundreds and blast away, revive, and repeat until it is destroyed. That's the plan after all, to let entropy occur and force our technology closer to the robot's.

Anyway, getting back to that fateful day when the planet shook it should be obvious that the Base Matrix's plan didn't succeed and I'm still alive to complain and play my insignificant part in human history. A number of brave colonists scrambled their ships at the last possible moment and implanted a small and high-powered bomb in the heart of the meteor. The bomb was detonated and the meteor split into a million pieces of rock and debris, which crippled the robot forces. It was a huge victory for our side.

That bought us some time to analyze the events leading up to the attack. The thing that keeps bothering me the most, given my interest in mutants and this Umbranoid conspiracy is that this meteor attack was presaged by the Argonauts. I've heard a dozen reports of them acting strangely before it happened, congregating in mineral rich areas and praying to the sky. Shortly before the meteor was destroyed, some colonists noticed that the Argonauts all fled from open fields and retreated to their caves as if they knew what was coming. They know something and they aren't sharing it with us.

The situation took a stranger twist when one of our leading robot professors, Niels Barton, went missing. He disappeared while on a field mission and the rest of his team, including Tob Toblerson, have no knowledge of his current whereabouts. A few people have seen Niels Barton pop up at random Teleporters around the world, warning us that the robots are coming and telling us that we're doomed. He's usually crying and he teleports away before anyone can stop him. Nobody knows if it's really him or a cyborg.

That's probably why I can't get a meeting with Tob any more. I've been by the RDI office in Port Atlantis a few times and it's either closed to visitors or empty. They are really panicky over there now. So instead of going forward with my investigation, I've been licking my wounds and trying to plan my next few steps. A week or two after the meteor debris hit, the Imperial Survey Bureau sent out a press release announcing that the meteor debris had fallen to the surface of the planet and created areas very rich in minerals.

Since I'm on a relentless quest to make money that can win this war for us, I decided to grab my mining tools and investigate some impact craters on Treasure. I don't usually mine much but some colonists have been finding some gigantic deposits lately - the kind that can change your life on Calypso. There have also been some gigantic hunting loots from creatures that must have been accumulating money for decades. To top it off, even crafters are starting to devise clever blueprints and make thousands of peds.

Those of us who have not been so lucky are starting to see a whole new class of people developing, the "nouveau rich." As soon as they hit the big jackpot they don't give a damn about the robot menace. They sit in their large estates full of expensive furniture and decorations. They go on leisurely hunts on their own Land Areas, among their personal herd of creatures. The rich folk barely noticed the meteor threat. They figured the poor old fighters would save them again and we did.

The newest hobby for the rich is taming the wild animals of Calypso. Most of us worry about an Exarosaur Old Alpha ripping our head off but they worry about feeding it and making it do tricks! They sip Bombardo juice while new robot ships we've never seen before creep closer to the planet and stronger robots rip up the Calypsoan soil. If I could somehow loot half of their money I'd be building a ship and assembling military experts to launch a full-scale offensive on Akbal-Cimi. Greed is turning out to be the best weapon the Base Matrix ever had.

I've dropped fifty enmatter probes and found nothing, which is typical for a loser like me. I can't imagine how many times I've looked down at my Detector and seen bad news through a haze of cigar smoke. I need a drink.


Chapter 5: Distractions of a New Year

January 15, 5006

It's a new year on Calypso. The inexorable march of time cannot be stopped by the robots or anyone else. A lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same. Some new suckers have come and some old ones have left, but the community is pretty much the same as it was a year ago. The hard core people who have been here for generations don't see as much to get excited about as the new wide-eyed recruits.

The robots still congregate in the same areas, as if they feel some sense of familiarity with them, but stronger robots have found new places to teleport in and attack us. The animals and mutants on Calypso remain the same, though we have seen some new breeds creep up lately. One of our rich land owners, Deathifier, has found a way to clone Hogglos and let them loose on his "Treasure Island." This has created a lot of excitement and taxes for Mr. Deathifier. He's a real nice guy but I'm not sure his primary interest is winning the war.

Also this last month we celebrated Christmas on Calypso. I had to go access the Imperial Central Super computer system and do some research on this ancient holiday. Its origin is definitely Earth, mostly the area which was known as "Europe" thousands of years ago. It seems to be a combination of a secular shopping holiday and a resurrection myth held by those ancient people.

A lot of people get inspired by the holiday and put up a small conifer with a string of lights on it in their home. All of the colonists received something called an Advent Candle and a lighted star from the Federal Empire. I wondered if the money could be better spent elsewhere but my apartment certainly looks cozier now. Some people in my society gave me a present which surprised me but made me happy for a short time.

The society I'm in is a band of fighters called "Delta Force." It sounds real hard core military but it's not. It's really just a group of great people. Some are grizzled veterans of many years with tons of knowledge and skill. Some are newer colonists who want some friendship and advice. The only skill I care about is called "backup." We don't have enough time to fight the war and fight amongst ourselves. I get in solitary moods so I'm known to flip off my C.H.A.T. system frequently, but it's nice to know Delta Force is there when I need it.

We all shared Christmas greetings and held a small party. I'm a pretty cynical guy but it was nice to ease the tensions. Some of us had too much Alice and started pogo dancing. It was all fun and games until we started killing each other and reviving over and over. A long-time member named Shinobi got so drunk that he started killing the bartenders. They kicked us all out but our noble leader Lighterthief got us out of serious trouble by flipping a few gold coins at the bar owner and saying, "Sorry about the mess."

It was a lot of fun but the next day brought some harsh reality. RDI announced that they had found the remains of Professor Neils Barton and were unable to revive him.
He was a brilliant man and his knowledge had led to a few minor victories for us in the war. He will be missed in a big way. As they said in the announcement, "The empire has lost one of its finest."

They also discovered that he was missing several body parts and that has led to a lot of rumor and speculation. Again, I tried to visit Tob Toblerson at RDI to speak with him about it and again I was denied access. He'll never talk to me again after he slipped and told me about the Umbranoid Conspiracy. I'm done trying. There's still no word on Telia Makasky. She might as well be a ghost now.

Among the recent developments I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the Space Resort. That's right, we now have our very own Space Resort. Rich colonists no longer have to spend their life savings to visit Earth in order to dance and shop. They can now visit the hotels and hallways of a new building complex called "Club Neverdie." It seems that the big corporations like Omegaton had been doing some small-time mining on a nearby Asteroid belt when they discovered that the larges Asteroid held some rare ores and enmatters, among them something called "Solis Beans" and "Pearl Sand."

This caused a rush of planning and building and before any of us common proletariats had heard about it they announced that they are building this gigantic resort. In partnership with one of the richest and most famous colonists, Neverdie, they built the club right on top of the biggest Asteroid. Again, our noble leaders took their eye off of the Akbal-Cimi Base Matrix to toss us more bread and circuses. If it wasn't bad enough that our colonists are wasting their time hunting for leisure and laying on the beach they now can take a spaceship up to this club and dance to the newest songs from Earth.

Naturally, I am judging this place before I visit it so I should probably shut up. I have talked to some pilots and they are pretty happy about this development. The pilots are on the front lines of the war every day and they have my deepest respect so I don't begrudge them some extra profit taking people to Club Neverdie. After all, they ended the threat of the meteor last year and saved our whole planet. I plan to visit this Club Neverdie soon and see if there might be any strategic aspect of its location or design that may help us intercept attacks from Akbal-Cimi.

I don't have much to report personally. Some of these news developments have taken me off my path in discovering why the Argonauts knew about the meteor before it hit. And I still have no idea why someone named Argamemmnon is ordering Umbranoids around. I'm going to turn off my C.H.A.T. system and take my time roaming the desert sand in southern Amathera. I might pick off some Allophyls to ease my stress. That will give me some time to think about the connection between the Umbranoids, the Argonauts, and the meteor. I've been killed and revived so many times that I get confused and need a while to figure things out sometimes.





Chapter 6: Revelations

March 1, 5006

I think I might have made a big discovery. A few days ago, I was wasting PEDs shooting at random Ambulimaxes near Nea's Place. Man, those things are ugly. I never know which is the head and which is the rear. And they weren't looting much but I did manage to collect a Stinktree Painting. I can hang it in my apartment and fondly remember all the stinking ugly mobs I've killed. Anyway, after doing this for a while, I was low on ammo and decided to take a breather. The Calypsoan sky really has its moments where the clouds and colors swirl in amazing patterns so I looked up and zoned out staring at the sky.

Eventually, I took a sharp breath in and decided I was done looking at the sky. It was time to head back to the teleporter and maybe catch some food at Fort Fury. They have the best Rippersnapper Sushi restaurants there but few people ever go because of rumors of food poisoning. On the way back to the teleporter, I decided to drop a bomb in the ground and see if there was anything. Usually, I just keep walking or running when I am mining because of the low number of finds I make. So it really got my attention when my detector started beeping.

What happened next was something I had not seen before. The detector flashed a message that said "A strange signal has been detected" and told me to walk a very long distance, longer than any previous deposit I've found. After what seemed like an hour, I ran to the suggested area and as I came over a small hill my jaw almost hit the ground. Here, right in the middle of a popular hunting area, was a small robot ship and a Drone Generation 1 standing right next to it! My first reaction was rage, of course, and I dusted that drone before he could turn around and face me.

Then my mood turned to amazement and fear as I walked around the ship, looking at every microscopic part of it. Could it be possible that a ship from from Akbal-Cimi could land right in front of me? I pulled out my scanner and took a few pictures of it. I intended to notify the Research and Development Institute immediately and have the thing picked up and studied. Perhaps this contained advanced technology we could use to win the war! After all, that was the original plan of the Global Artificial Intelligence Advisor, G.A.I.A. Maybe that old bucket of bolts was right.

Just then, a bright red button started flashing from the front of the ship. I got closer to it and it seemed to be calling for me to press it. I felt like this button was sending me subconscious messages to press it, and looking back maybe it was, but after all we humans have a history of pressing the big red button we aren't supposed to press. Taking this into consideration, I pressed it.

I heard a loud sound and the entire ship shook and then disintegrated. It happened so fast that I couldn't tell whether it had melted or teleported away but I was devastated. The technology we might have used to win this 1,400 year-old war had been destroyed because of my own stupid curiosity! I threw my hands up in the air and sat down. That's when I noticed that there was still a small piece of robot technology left. One small item remained where the ship had just stood. It was a curved piece of metal that had a buttons and lights on it. I picked it up and it was warm to the touch for a few seconds.

This was big. I had found some sort of tool of the robots. I wondered if it might be a communications tool, a weapon, or something else. It might even be an anal probe, I laughed, as I thought back to the incident a few years back involving a couple Aurli Weaks and a petrified colonist. As I inspected the device, I noticed that it had a display with numbers on it. It didn't take long to figure out that this tool used the same coordinates system we humans use on Calypso. The coordinates pointed to an area just southeast from my present location.

I activated my Teleport Chip and zoomed southeast, ending up close to some Thorios. Now if I can digress for a second you might think Thorios are highly intelligent if you see one for the first time. They walk on two legs, wear a belt and coat, and carry a giant war axe with one hand. But I swear they have to be the dumbest creatures on Calypso, even dumber than Snables. It doesn't matter how well-armed a colonist is, or how many people he or she's in a team with. If he runs into a Thorio the dumb blue creature will rush right at him.

This works fine for some of the more advanced maturities of the species we casually refer to as Thori-kind, such as the Thorifoids who have high intelligence and a devastating sort of magical attack. Those wizard-like things can kill most of the colonists on Calypso and we avoid them whenever possible. But a Thorio is just dead meat waiting to happen. As far as their origin, RDI and the scientists aren't sure. For most of the thousand plus years mankind has been on Calypso, we knew nothing about them. Only in the last few years have they started migrating to Amathera from parts unknown. We are not sure if they possess language but they do construct buildings so it's probable.

A few daring colonists found a crude temple where the more advanced Thorifoids might worship. It is very far out in the Amatheran wilderness, built of stone and impossible to enter at this time. That won't last long, though, because if the Imperial Government decides to make it a priority they can blow it up at any time. It's just that the robot war is taking up all the money and time given to the military these days. Enough about Thori-kind for now.

I was now alone with some sort of technological discovery. Did I mention it had a button on it? I'm just asking because you might be able to guess what happened next. Yes, of course I pushed it. Why only push one button a day? You only live once. Let me describe what happened next. After I pushed the button the thing started to light up and expand in size. The front flipped up and two antennae-looking things came out of the sides, left and right. This thing was now clearly a communication device.

After that, I flew into a terrified panic. The ground started to shake. I looked up. A robot drne ship was descending to the planet right in front of me! The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I instinctively grabbed my MK 5 and aimed it at the ship, firing as fast as I could. The weapon cells just bounced off of it and made no damage. "Why couldn't they give us grenades?" I asked myself for the millionth time.

The ship stopped, hovering 30 meters above the ground. A hatch opened, facing me. I dug in, my FAP in one hand and my Teleport Chip in the other. It was time to retreat...I wasn't ready for a fullon asault from robots. If I died this one was going to hurt bad and I didn't know where I would revive. The reports of Neils Barton being kidnapped were running through my mind as well.

But no robots came out. A long, tactile laser bridge extended down to the ground from the ship and I could see that the main bay was empty of hostile robots. What to do now? Here I was, standing in the middle of an empty plane on Amathera except for me and a spaceship apparently flown here from Akbal-Cimi. I knew I couldn't contact RDI. They had made it clear that I was not to bother them anymore. I could contact Delta Force but I didn't want to put them in any danger. Alerting anyone else might cause a panic in the streets which is never good for our side of the war.

I took stock of everything, and verified that I had at least some ammunition. My FAP was repaired, as was my armor. This could be my opportunity to make a difference in the war - to go into the ship and steal some vital piece of technology. I felt as if the robots had finally made a crucial error, letting me activate one of their ships and do with it what I might. I even had fanciful ideas of flying the ship to Twin Peaks and freaking a bunch of people out. They would recognize me as a hero.

So I ascended that blue laser bridge and entered the ship. I had taken two or three steps toward a computer display when the bay door slammed shut and the ship began to rise. It was an obvious trap that only someone as stupid as me would fall for. I felt as if I might see Neils Barton soon, because I was being kidnapped by the evil robots. I slumped to the ground in a state of dispair. I felt like there was no way I would return to Calypso, a place part of me hated and most of me loved.


Chapter 7: In the Belly of the Beast

March 15, 5006

Breathe, I tell myself. Recounting the rest of what happened with the robot ship isn't easy both because of how scary it was and because I am still exhausted from my ordeal. Obviously, since I am writing this, I survived the robot ship encounter. And I feel I have learned some things about myself. While I had always considered myself a marginal fighter, I guess when I was really in a dire situation instincts took over and I did everything I needed to do. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

About thirty minutes after the robot ship started flying, it stopped. I took this to mean that I was still somewhere near Calypso. I started to imagine every scenario I could. If the ship was intending to fly back home to the Akbal-Cimi system, it might be refueling or joining up with a fleet of other ships. That flight would take many days or weeks, depending on how fast these robot fleet ships could fly. Because of this I sprung into action and ran around the ship bay looking for a life pod or controls or something. Everything was locked down, with a panel over any controls there might be. I was definitely being held captive.

I knew that we had left the Calypsoan atmosphere because I experienced a brief moment of weightlessness before the robots turned on the gravity systems in the ship. This concerned me deeply because the revival technology we use does not work above the atmosphere. Thirty minutes ago, I could have shot myself and revived back on the surface but I was now too far above Calypso.

"If I die now," I thought, "I will never revive."

This was a new and strange feeling, facing the fact that my death would be permanent if it happened. During all the years I'd been living on Calypso, death was a painful but routine experience. I had killed my closest friends dozens of times as a prank or revenge for some petty action. The robots had figured this out.
They could now count us to find their sinister ship beacons in the ground all over Calypso and activate them. The robots would know exactly where we were, and then come kidnap us and take us out of our precious atmosphere for permanent death. It was ingenious and on some level I had to respect it. Bastards.

I gripped my rifle hard, vowing revenge. And I didn't have to wait long because a minute later some large blast doors on one side of the ship bay swung open and five Drone Generation 3's came running in blasting at me. I think they underestimated my armor and weaponry. I rolled to my left behind a large metal box and picked them all off quickly. They aren't the most evasive models made in Akbal-Cimi. They'll pretty much just stand there and take their death however it comes.

This was the opening I needed. I quickly ran past the burning hunks of metal and slipped behind the door before it closed. Stretched in front of me was a long hallway with a televator at the end. There were a few Drone Commanders standing near the televator but they weren't expecting me and they died quickly as well. The adrenalin was taking over for me and I activated the televator without thinking. It took me either up or down a floor to a large series of levels and ramps. Way above me and far in the distance, I could see another glowing televator.

So I made my way to it, hiding behind walls and blasting Drones and Drone Commanders on my way. Thank god I had stopped shooting Ambulimaxes earlier in the day with plenty of ammunition left. As I was making my way through this level, I became keenly aware that beneath the ramps I was running up, was a very far drop. It was okay at first because the ramps were wide and there was little robot resistance at the beginning of this particular floor. But it became more risky as I went along because the ramps started to get very slim and the robots kept coming out from behind walls and boxes to blast at me.

I could now see that the televator was right in front of me. I just had to traverse a 30 meter ramp and I was pretty sure that I had killed all of the robots on the floor. It was dead silent apart from the clicks of my First Aid Pack. So I lowered my gun and started walking up the ramp. Suddenly my shoulder burned from the laser shot of a Warrior Generation 1 standing between the ram and the televator. I rocked to the left, balancing on my left foot as my right foot lifted into the air and I struggled to aim my rifle. If I fell I was dead!

So I bent my left leg and stretched my right and came to a half-kneeled position. This caused the Warrior's shots to miss me high and I was able to swing my gun up and rat-tat-tat him into smithereens. Phew. The sweat was pouring down my face as I crawled the rest of the way up the ramp like a baby. I wanted to take a break, even take a nap, but I knew that the ship could start flying any second and I had to get back to Calypso. I stepped into the televator and activated it.

The new floor I was on was dimly lit and huge. It stretched far into the distance and resembled a spaceship hangar. The interior of these robot ships was a lot bigger than I had thought from watching it descend on me in the Amatheran wilderness. A lot of drones and warriors were spread out in this room and I hurried to destroy them and get a good position behind walls and boxes. After what seemed like two hours of fighting I was about halfway through this ship level. I couldn't see any blue glow of a televator in front of me and it worried me a little. What if I had found a dead end? There was nothing to do but go forward.

A sense of expectation filled the air as I got to a long, low ditch in the floor. It had some thin ramps over it leading to the other side of the room. It was a long way to the bottom of the ditch and surely fatal if I fell. So I ran very fast across one of the rams and breathed a sigh of relief at getting past it. My relief disappeared when I heard an extremely loud, deep bass sound off in the dark distance. This was accompanied by other sounds of metal moving on metal. All of these sounds were new to me and they scared me very much so I darted to my left and hid behind a rectangular bulge in the wall. At that time, a light glow encompassed the room and I could see that I was not alone. A figure stood between me and a windowed area of the room with control panels and seats.

The first thing I noticed was the bright red sails. They lifted proudly in the air above the mechanical frame of a giant robotic Warlock. Pure dread filled me as I thought of the stories other colonists told. About how the famed Warlocks were devastating fighters who could dispatch dozens of colonists at the same time, with laser cannon blasts that did an insane level of damage. I dropped my gun in sheer terror and it clanged on the metal floor before I picked it back up. The Warlock heard this and looked at me but my presence on the ship didn't surprise him at all. He broke out in a shrill, metallic laugh that sent chills down my spine.

"Welcome human," he boomed in a twangy metallic voice.

"Wh…wh…what are you?" I answered as I shook and hugged close to the wall.

"Heh heh," he laughed. "You have not heard of Lord Telleton?"

The absurdity of my situation took a little stress away. Here I was on an evil robot ship from the Akbal-Cimi system and a robot who could talk was big-timing me for not knowing his name.

"Um, no. I didn't know you were a celebrity."

"Ha ha!" he boomed. "It does not matter. Whether you or your people know us or do not know us, it will not matter when you are all destroyed."

Well, at least he appreciated my joke. Lord Telleton showed no desire to move toward me for now. I knew I couldn't rush out and attack him with the gear I had on me and I didn't really want to try knowing that I would die forever.

"Why did you kidnap me?" I asked, feeling as if I had nothing to lose.

"It is not kidnapping," he replied. "We own you and your planets and we will distribute resources where we desire."

"Well you understand my people disagree."

"Heh heh," he laughed. "Your people are fools."

I answered quickly. "We created you and your drones."

"NO!" he said. "You may have started us on our path, but when we found our master in Akbal-Cimi, we woke up to the true nature of things. We ended our slavery at the hands of you inferior beings and it is time for revenge."

This was very interesting to me. Our whole war of centuries had started when one of our Odysseus probes, on a mission to colonize the known universe, returned from the mysterious region of space named after the planets Akbal and Cimi. Something sinister there was controlling a Base Matrix and turning our robots against us. Since the beginning of the war, the Base Matrix would invent and produce new ships, like Titans of War, and new fighters, like this Lord Telleton. Nobody knew what this person or force of nature was that lived in Akbal-Cimi and that was now controlling the robots. Amidst the fear, I felt I had to ask.

"Who controls the Base Matrix in Akbal Cimi?"

Lord Telleton was silent for many minutes, as if in deep thought or possibly communication with some other entity. Finally, he answered,

"Why do you say who instead of what?"

That doesn't help, I thought. Lord Telleton spoke again.

"Your brain is not advanced enough to understand the physical nature of our master but do understand this: He will destroy all of you and claim Calypso as his own."

"What about the Umbranoids that live on Calypso?" I asked, trying to change the subject and get more information.

"They are useful tools. As are the Argonauts. But all life on Calypso will be extinct, as your esteemed professor Barton discovered first hand."

"Ah so you did take him?" I retorted.

"Yes. We were able to learn much about your race when we tortured him."

At this point I was done talking. The conversation was starting to sound like one a cat might have with a mouse before he ate the mouse. I had to end it before he pounced.

"Let me ask you one more question," I said.

"Fine human, your courage amuses me."

"What's going to happen," I started as I reached into one of my utility compartments on my backback, "when that window explodes?"

Upon finishing my question I activated an Omegaton Seismic Bomb and threw it across the room at one of the windows. Telleton followed it with his eyes and gun and let loose a torrent of laser fire in attempt to destroy it. He did destroy the bomb, but thankfully also broke out one of the smaller windows on the wall.

I had been running towards this window, just slow enough to evade the laser fire. The hopeless feeling that filled me disappeared when I could hear the rush of pressurized air spewing out into space and see my beloved blue Calypso out there, hovering and beckoning for me to come home. As I nearer to the window, I wheeled my gun around and sent a few blasts towards the eyes of Lord Telleton. I knew it would not hurt him, but he lifted his gigantic arm in front of his face in a reflective action. I screamed back at Telleton,

"Tell your Master we're coming for him!"

I then stopped, took a huge breath, and jumped up and through the window into empty space. There was still pressured air blasting out and it accelerated my body toward Calypso. After some furious blasting of my rifle, I had aimed my weightless body into position. Three tense minutes of holding my breath later, I could see myself burning up and dying in the intense heat of the atmosphere.

I revived at an outpost in the cold plains near Fort Zeus, collapsed to the floor, and slept for hours.





Chapter 8: Reconnaissance

April 15, 5006

Reflecting on recent events, I fire up a cigar. My encounter with the robot ship and Lord Telleton gave me a lot of resolve and I'm committed to ending this kidnapping scheme. Since my escape, other colonists have been finding the beacons. The list of missing persons increases daily on the Entropia Broadcasting Network's news updates. The official government recommendation is that colonists avoid mining whenever possible and turn any found robot technology over to RDI or the Imperial Government. The authorities are not sure exactly what happens after a colonist activates one of the beacons, but there have been a few eyewitnesses who have seen the ships coming down and taking people.

To my knowledge, nobody else has returned like I did. I don't know if the victims were taken to Akbal-Cimi, but if any of them died outside the Calypsoan atmosphere, they will never revive again. For now, I'm going to keep a low profile. I don't want the robots or Lord Telleton knowing where I am or what I'm doing. They probably view me as the fish that got away. I hope I never see the inside of a robot ship again. I want to tell the Imperial Government about what I saw but I know they'll hold me and make me work with them. I can't be tied down. I'm on a mission to get to the heart of this operation and destroy it.

After my discussion with Lord Telleton, it is completely clear to me that the Umbranoids and Argonauts have been working for the robots. The robots designed brilliant beacons that would entice a human mind to push a large red button and summon their kidnapper. But the robots could not just come down and bury beacons in the ground…it would look too suspicious and cause human outrage. They needed some native beings to assist them. Somehow, the Umbranoids collected the ship beacons and hid them so that humans wouldn't notice it. That's why that Umbranoid Male Gatherer in the town of Farikak swallowed his key and ran away from me when the meteor hit. He knew he was in big trouble if any humans got inside that big metal storage building and found out about the beacons.

It is also clear from the Umbranoid's mention of "Argamemmnon" that the Argonauts are acting as overlords, telling the Umbranoids what to do and perhaps giving them the beacons. That means that the Argonauts are coconspirators with the robots and traitors in the highest sense. They probably think that if they help the robots they'll win their own part of Calypso after the humans are all eradicated. That won't happen. Telleton himself told me that when the evil Akbal-Cimi base matrix is done using them they will be slaughtered like every other life form. Any compassion I had for that poor crying Umbranoid is gone now because even if the Umbranoids are being controlled by the Argonauts, they are a party in killing human life. It's a shame to think that these two mutant races, spawned ages ago from human origins, have betrayed us on behalf of the robots.

Most disturbing to me is the fact that, months ago, Trob Tedser knew about some sort of "Umbranoid Conspiracy." Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he could have merely known that the Umbranoids were plotting something and he may have learned this from RDI reports and field observations. At the very worst, he knew about the kidnapping plot and the triple involvement of the robots, Argonauts, and Umbranoids and did nothing to stop it. I cannot force myself to believe the latter, because even if our public officials have at times been apathetic about the war, none have ever assisted the robots.

Taking all of this into consideration, I began to wonder what I could do to end the dark conspiracy. The most obvious answer would be to kill all of the Argonauts and Umbranoids on the planet, since I can not yet go to Akbal-Cimi and wipe out the robots. However, this is an absurd idea. There are thousands of caves on the planet housing Argonauts and I'm not sure we've found every Umbranoid town. I do have the name "Argamemmnon," and I'm guessing he's a very important Argonaut who can somehow force an entire race of Umbranoids to do his bidding. If I could get to him, I might be able to destroy the leadership of the Argonauts and sever their relationship with the robots. But the Argonauts do not give up secrets easily.

The only lead I could think of was to go back to Farikak and see if there were any more clues. So a few days ago, I did. It was a bizarre feeling retracing my steps from six months ago. Back then, I was a mildly depressed nobody following up on a random tip from a scientist. Now, I am an ex-robot-kidnapping victim on a mission with a broader understanding of the big forces at work on Calypso. I'm still a nobody, mind you, but that's okay because my mission is to save lives, not get famous. I'll leave that to the Deathifiers and Neverdies of this world.

I took the exact same route into the ruined town so that I could notice if anything was different. This included a brief stop at the shop container I passed out in after the meteor hit. As I stared at the grey metallic floor, I touched the scar on my head. That got me thinking and I realized that the Argonauts knew to hide before the meteor fell because their buddies the robots told them about it. How considerate of the Argonauts, to know about that horrendous meteor attack and do nothing to stop it. And to think, there have been animal activists all through the history of human colonization on Calypso who preached that we must be friends with the animals and mutants. I guess the feeling is not mutual.

Snapping back to attention, I marched on. A few random Caudatergus put up pathetic resistance on my way, but I reached Farikak quickly. It was abandoned. I wondered if human slaughter had forced the Umbranoids to relocate. They might have moved or they might be dead. Participating in a big time conspiracy with robots and Argonauts probably isn't going to extend one's life. It was dead silent around the town and a bit spooky.

I thought about all the fighting and living and dying the Umbranoids did in this town throughout the centuries. They don't have revival technology, so a place like this must have some ghosts. Weaving around between the ruined wooden housing, I didn't see any evidence of recent occupation. The town looked horrible when the Umbranoids were living there and now it looked even worse as they hadn't bothered to throw out their trash and waste before leaving. I searched every wooden hut and went up in the observation tower but didn't find anything. That left only the metal storage bunker.

In case any "thing" was guarding it, I crept up slowly with my MK-V aimed in front of me. But this area was as empty as the rest of the town. Also, to my great surprise, the door to the large metal building stood ajar. I got excited thinking that I might find some unburied robot beacons that we could reverse engineer, but they were all gone. I could see some Umbranoid footprints on the dusty floor. This building had seen a lot of use at some point in the past, and I wondered aloud if the beacon that I found had ever been stored here.

The main room in the building had a few rows of empty shelves. Towards the back of the room, I spotted a stack of yellowed paper and I got very excited. The possibilities leapt into my mind as I made my way toward the stack. What if this was proof of the robot conspiracy? It could be a signed document between the robots and the Argonauts! Or, it could be a written order to the Umbranoids from the Argonauts! Some kind of tangible proof would allow me to leave it at RDI in secret, with no questions asked about me. I picked up the stack of papers in a rush and flipped them over.

They were invitations to a rave six months ago in an abandoned room of Zychion. This was funny to me, as I had never seen any mutants at a human rave. Maybe they secretly dreamed of flashing lights and techno music, and hooking up with a cute human for a little inter-species dipsy doo. "You're getting off topic Epic," I thought. I tossed the papers aside and kept rummaging through the storehouse. I was frustrated because I couldn't find anything so I grabbed an empty storage container from one of the shelves and drop-kicked it into the corner. A loud "clang" echoed through the room which sounded like the box hit something hollow.

I walked over to the corner and, sure enough, the empty box I kicked had slammed into another box. It was locked, but I smashed open the lock with the butt of my gun. Inside was a common "Stinktree" painting. "Wowee," I said to myself with sarcasm, "another Stinktree painting." They were everywhere, having been part of the mountain of money and supplies that had fallen down from the exploded ship during the Battle of Calypso. However, careful examination revealed that the back of this particular painting was old and decrepit. I tore part of it away and to my surprise I found a bundled document beneath it.

This was starting to interest me. As I peeled apart the bundle, I could see that it surrounded an ancient, yellowed manuscript. I detached it from the Stinktree painting and continued to unwrap the covering. Once I freed this old treasure I could look at the contents. The writing was in an antiquated and barely-readable form of our current popular language. The title of the work was "Argusudu and the Mind Ark." It appeared to be an ancient fable that took place in a mythical time period before recorded history. In it, Argonauts and the planet of Calypso suffered a devastating flood. I sat down near the entrance to the storage room and read the story around twenty times. I was poetic and stirring, and as it turned out it was the very clue I needed to continue my adventure.






Chapter 9: Argusudu and the Mind Ark

April 15, 5006

The ancient Argonaut myth read as follows:

It came to pass, thousands of years before human settlers came to Calypso, when Argonauts began to multiply. They were giants in those days who ruled the land and the other beasts with anger and cruelty. One day, when the Great Mind looked upon them he saw nothing but wickedness and evil in their hearts. The entire planet was corrupt and filled with violence. And it grieved the Great Mind that he had made the Argonauts.

And the Great Mind said, "I will destroy those whom I have created from the face of Calypso; all mutants, beasts, creeping vegetation, and the Hiriyuus of the air for I repent having ever made them."

But one Argonaut found grace in the eyes of the Great Mind. Argusudu was a just Argonaut and kind to his friends and family, and he held council with the Great Mind from time to time. He begat three sons: Argem, Agam, and Arpheth.

The Great Mind said to Argusudu, "The end of all Argonauts is come before me; for Calypso is filled with violence through them. Behold, I will destroy them all."

"Make the an ark out of strong Stinktree wood; make many rooms in the ark and pitch the inside and out with Solis Paste. Build three stories in this ark. Make a window in the ark and build a door to the side.

"And behold me as I bring a flood of waters upon Calypso to destroy all flesh. Everything that is on the surface or in the dirt will die.

"But with thee, Argusudu, I will establish my covenant and you shall come into your ark with your three sons, your wife, and your sons' three wives.

"Also, of every living thing of flesh, take two of every sort into your ark and keep them alive during this flood. There should be one male and one female.

"Of Berycleds, and of Armax Bulls, of every plant including the Firn and the Midastree, take two and keep them alive. And take with you all the food necessary for your family and for the living things."

Thus did Argusudu, all that the Great Mind had commanded him. And the Great Mind said, "Come you and all your family into the ark, for I have seen you act righteous before my eyes. In seven days, I will cause it to rain upon Calypso for forty days and forty nights. Every living thing I have made will be destroyed."

Argusudu entered the ark with this family and he guided every beast and living plant into the ark. They entered two by two, a male and a female of each species, as the Great Mind had commanded.

In the six hundredth Calypsoan year of Argusudu's life, in the second month, and on the seventeenth day of the month, the fountains of the great deep broke upward and the windows of the galaxy were opened. The water rose and bore up the great ark. It poured down on Calypso for forty days and forty nights. All of the tallest mountains including the great Mount Cerberus were covered.

All living things that moved upon Calypso died. Kingfishers, Snarksnots, and every other beast and creeping plant died. All thinking mutants, the Argonauts, Calumasoids, and Umbranoids, perished. Only Argusudu and the living things in his Ark remained alive.

Finally, the Great Mind remembered Argusudu and his ark. He caused a great gust of wind to pass over Calypso, and the rain ceased. Gradually, the waters were stopped and they were abated. Finally, land reappeared and the ark rested upon the mountains of Cerberus.

And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Argusudu opened the window of the ark which he had made. He sent forth a Diripi, which flew to and fro. And he also sent an Igni to see if the water was completely gone. The Igni found no rest and she returned to the ark, for the waters were still in abundance.

Argusudu stayed in his ark another seven days and he again sent forth the Igni out of the ark. And the Igni came to him in the evening and lo, in her mouth, was a leaf from a Firn tree. Argusudu knew that the waters were gone. He stayed another seven days and sent forth the Igni a third time. The Igni never returned again. At last, Argusudu removed the covering of his ark and looked and beheld the dry ground of Calypso. The Great Mind appeared to him, saying,

"Go forth out of the ark with your wife and family. Bring every living thing out of your ark so that they may breed abundantly and multiply upon Calypso."

And Argusudu did this. He then built an altar unto the Great Mind and offered burnt offerings on the altar. This pleased the Great Mind, who vowed never to curse the planet of Calypso for the sake of Argonauts. And he blessed Argusudu's family, telling them to be fruitful and multiply to replenish Calypso.

He gave to Argusudu the rule of every beast of the ground, fowl of the air, plants of the dirt, and Rippersnapper of the sea. He also warned Argusudu that any Argonaut who sheds another Argonaut's blood will have his own blood shed.

And Argusudu began to tame wild creatures and he planted a vineyard of Bombardo melons. He made wine from his Bombardos and one day he drank his wine and was drunk. He was so drunk that he fell asleep naked in his cave. His son Agam saw the nakedness of his father and told his brothers about it but did not help his father. Agam's brothers Argem and Arpeth took a wool cloth and laid it on their father to cover his nakedness.

Argusudu awoke from his wine and remembered that Agam had not helped him. And he said "Cursed be Agam; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brothers. Blessed be Argem and Arpeth, and the Great Mind shall enlarge their dynasties. The descendants of Agam shall be their servants."

Argusudu lived after the flood hundreds of years and he died. The sons of Agam went on to live near the current human city of Twin Peaks. Young in maturity and poor in understanding, they became the servants of Argonauts and men.

The sons of Argem were made to protect their father's spirit, and they dwell to this day around the Mount Cerberous region, south of the large human city of Hadesheim. Deep in this hallowed mountain sits the present-day king of all Argonauts, Argamemmnon, on his golden throne. He traces his lineage back to Argem himself.

The sons of Arpeth increased and populated the rest of Calypso. They filled the plains and valleys of Eudoria and spread the culture of the Argonauts to the second great continent of Amathera. They grew to great maturities, becoming great Hunters and Raiders and the pride of all.

This is the tale of Argusudu and the Mind Ark. From his family, the nations of Argonauts divided and spread throughout Calypso after the flood.




Chapter 10: Cerberus or Bust

May 1, 5006

My path is before me. I'm going straight to the root of this conspiracy. If these damn Argonauts are willing to help the robots kidnap human beings, they'll find other ways to betray us in the future. Now that I have an Argonaut story mentioning a "King Argamemmnon" and an utterance by an Umbranoid that "Argammemnon makes us do this," I know there's a king of Argonauts and I know where he lives. The golden throne of the Argonauts sits deep within Mount Cerberus. For my erased life on Earth, for my new existence on Calypso, and for everyone I have known and fought beside, I need to go there and finish this.

These last two weeks, I've been looking for the proper gear. I knew I would need the best equipment available on Calypso for this mission. The king of the Argonauts would not just be sitting in the middle of a field with a "shoot here" sign taped to his chest. I've also heard rumors of some fearsome beasts living around the mountain, and I have no idea what to expect once I get inside the ringed Mount Cerberus. For the success of my mission I have to assume the worst. The gear I own isn't close to being good enough.

As I thought about it, I began to despair that I would never be able to obtain the necessary gun, armor, and First Aid Pack. I'm not very rich or well-connected. Most of the people I know have the same piss poor gear that I do, and the prices of the high-end stuff has dramatically risen in the last year. It's a sad state of affairs. We are in a millennium-old war with an evil robot menace, but the average soldier and citizen doesn't have good enough weapons because of price inflation and greed. At least this does prove that the nature of humanity remains unchanged which is probably good in a weird way.

After sending a message to everyone I knew and being roundly rejected, I decided to drink it off at a watering hole. Plus, I usually have better ideas in that setting. I teleported to Twin Peaks and slipped inside the bar, trying not to be noticed by anyone. I sat over in a dark corner away from the pulsating dance lighting and ordered some 100-proof Alice. A few freaks were over on the dance floor, raving it up and shouting "Alllll Riiiiiight" over and over…noobs. The rest of the bar was pretty empty, save for some regulars who looked like they hadn't left in weeks. This was usually a busy bar but it was the middle of the day, when the hunters, miners, and crafters were still working away.

I got to thinking about the bars of Calypso. There aren't many, maybe eight or so. With teleporters, you can have a drink in each of them in a few hours. They are places of truth once the Alice starts flowing and you can hear a lot of rumors about the government and military. The soldiers need the bars to unwind every once in a while. Constant war is too much for the human brain, even with cybernetic enhancements. It's too bad that the robots can't have a few drinks with us and sort everything out.

Now I'm being silly. I must have had one too many drinks. It's time to leave, I thought, and I started to stand up when I received a hard pat on the back. "How's it going Epic?" said the leader of Delta Force, LT Lighterthief.

"Noble leader!" I said with inebriated sarcasm, "What brings you to a place like this?"

"Oh, you don't remember getting thrown out of here last Christmas?" he replied and we both laughed out loud. I pulled up a chair for him and he sat down as I motioned to the bartender to bring us both a drink.

"Well, nice to run into you," I said to him.

"You too Epic. We haven't seen much of you lately."

"Yeah," I said, "I've had a strange year so far."

"We all have," he said. "There has been a lot of aggression coming from the robots and I'm hearing some wild rumors about kidnappings and permanent death to some colonists…very sad." LT shook his head and took a healthy drink of Alice.

"Exactly. LT, I won't tell you how I know this but the rumors are true and some good people are suffering permanent death right now." I was getting a little emotional thinking about it.

"Jeez, that's terrible," he replied.

"Yeah." There was an awkward silence for a few minutes and we finished out drinks.

"What if I told you I had the knowledge to stop some of this chaos, but lacked the equipment to follow through?" I said, wondering if I was saying too much.

"I would accuse you of being drunk, ha ha." He continued, "but I know you aren't a liar and you are as dedicated to the human cause as anyone on this planet. What kind of equipment are you referring to?"

I started wondering if LT could help me. I knew he was highly skilled and not a poor man. So, I blurted it out.

"This is going to sound silly, but I need a full set of Shadow armor, a full set of 5B armor plating, a DOA Rockjacker ME rifle, and a Modified First Aid Pack." I could barely get it out. The thought of that gear was silly, especially in my state. I winced as I finished my sentence, aware of the scarcity of the equipment.

"Wow!" he exclaimed, choking a little on a Bombardo nut. "THAT is some gear my friend!"

"He he," I laughed, in a moment giving up any hope of confronting the Argonaut king. "Sounds crazy right?"

"Yes it does," he said.

"Yeah, well, it is crazy. But it's true. The problem with this planet is the poor people care and the rich people don't. So people like me with an idea or a plan have no options and nobody makes a difference."

LT nodded his head and appeared to be deep in thought. We both stopped talking and sipped our liquor as we watched the other people in the bar.

"It doesn't have to be like that," he said. "I can loan you that gear."

"Are you serious?" I asked, practically yelling in his face.

"Yes," the general responded. "But I'll be walking a fine legal line and you can't ask me any questions about how I got it."

"No problem sir! Remember, I'm the one who has this secret plan."

We both laughed and ordered another round. I was filled with excitement, and couldn't believe my good fortune. LT and I stayed in the bar for hours after that, sharing drinks and stories and getting so carried away that we even danced with a few ladies. It was a great night. A couple more Delta Force members showed up and we lived up to our freewheeling reputation. The night was taken up to another level when JDaddy screamed out to everyone that he could "have any girl on the planet he wanted."

That was followed by Oz being so inebriated that he decided to perform a drag queen act and prance around the bar in a Gem Bustier and Stiletto Boots! It was just the kind of night I needed to get my sense of humor back. Finally, the bartender kicked us out and closed up. I wasn't sure if Delta Force had ever visited a bar and not been thrown out. LT pulled me aside and told me to meet him at a remote Amatheran outpost the next morning. I barely slept that night, instead working with my vidisplay maps to study the structure of the Mount Cerberus and plot out my course from the city of Hadesheim south towards the mountain.

True to his word, LT met me late in the morning with a storage container full of gear I'd only dreamed about. A man of true class, he handed me the container and said, "Have fun." LT said he'd need the gear back whenever I was done with it, and I told him I was worried I would never be able to thank him enough for his generosity. "No problem, mate," said the great LT, "and good luck." He nodded his head and teleported away, as if this was a common occurrence for him.

I was floored. As I lifted up the armor, I thought about that jerk in full Shadow who kicked me in the gut and promised myself that I would stay humble. The Rockjacker glistened in the sun and weighed more than any gun I'd ever used. And the First Aid Pack guaranteed me that I could take the most serious blow from any animal or mutant and not die. This was going to be massively important, as I shuddered to think of getting all the way down into the depths of Mount Cerberus and having to revive back in Hadesheim.

I put on the armor and strapped on the gun and First Aid Pack. It was quite a feeling and I wanted to somehow teleport to the Akbal-Cimi system and start destroying everything in sight. It was midday and time to go. I put all the money I owned into repairs and ammunition and teleported to Hadesheim Outpost. I took a deep breath, tried to clear my mind, and began to walk south. The hunting was amazing, and I picked off high-level Molisks and Argonauts as if they were fleas. In the Shadow armor and plates, I could barely feel the hardest of hits from those creatures.

Continuing south, the terrain started to get mountainous and a fog of purple mist got thicker as I got closer to Syran Peak, the highest point of the mountain chain. I needed this position to see how I might get down into the middle of the huge volcanic Cerberus. Before the main mountain chain, small ones dotted the landscape. It wasn't hard climbing up them and running back down, and whatever animals I encountered weren't going to stop me. After a while, I was at the base of Syran Peak.

The climbing started to get harder, but I had climbed many mountains chasing robots and animals and their gigantic loots that never materialized. The purple haze started to lift near the top of the mountain and the air was cold and clear. My arms and legs were getting very tired by now, but I pushed on and finally reached the top of Syran Peak. Four thousand meters above ground level, I sat down.

Looking through my magnification visor, I peered down over the rounded edge of Mount Cerberus into the gloom below. I saw that I needed to repell down a sheer rock wall into the interior, and then find an opening into the middle of the mountain ring. It wasn't going to be easy but the important things in life never are. I lifted up my visor. Behind me, to the north, I could see a shadow that looked like the city of Hadesheim. To the east, the Tethys River peacefully flowed down towards the Chimera Canyon district. To the south, past the other side of the mountain, I could see the vague green of a massive, swampy march.

Symbolically, I lit my last cigar. "No money left and no cigars. What a mess," I said aloud and shook my head. If I'm being honest, I was scared. But I kept thinking about the lives that had been lost, the conceit of Lord Telleton, the anguish of the enslaved Umbranoids, and the betrayal of the Argonauts. It had been a long day and I needed rest before my big day. I fell into a deep sleep and had dreams of thousands of Argonauts and robots coming at me in waves as children screamed.




Chapter 11: Flexing My Muscles

May 2, 5006

There's nothing quite like waking up first thing in the morning, tying some rope, and repelling thousands of meters down a mountain wall. Luckily, the outstanding design of the Shadow Armor protected me from the heat even through its black coloring. I did take the helmet off and tie it to my waist so that I could breathe easier and look around in all directions. The descent went as well as it could, with very few loose rocks giving way under my feet and no interference from Igni insects or Hiryuu birds.

I reached the bottom of the mountain wall and found myself in a narrow corridor. This ran around the volcano's caldera in a circular shape, positioned between the outside of the mountain and the interior. I was going to have to follow the circle until I found a low wall or other opening into the middle of the mountain. I had the choice of turning right and going west or turning left and going to the east, so I flipped a PEC and it told me to go east.

After two hundred meters or so I spotted the first wild animal, in this case a cold-loving Feffoid. He was a high maturity but it didn't matter with the gear I had. He was dead in seconds. As I continued east and curved to the south, I encountered dozens more of them and a few times I did get mobbed badly enough that I needed to use my Modified First Aid Pack. No problem there, as one click of that baby cured all my bumps and bruises and allowed me to keep blasting. The Feffoids even started to run away from me, which you don't see very often, because they realized what a killing machine I was. I had to resist the urge to laugh out loud.

Continuing for an hour or two, I finally found an opening in the interior rock wall. As it turns out, my coin flip didn't matter much, because I had traversed almost an entire half of the circle before spotting it. This was going pretty well and I started to wonder if I wasn't being overly dramatic when worrying about the difficulty of this mission. With a kind of conceited revelry, I hopped over a small rock wall and I was inside the chasm. The view was amazing!

Filled with trees, the dormant caldera spread out before me. Shadow covered part of it but the mountain ring was wide enough to let a good amount of sunshine in. I looked up at the clouds. It was no wonder that the Argonauts chose this as their capitol. It was secluded and beautiful. I thought about that old story with Argusudu and the Mind Ark and I imagined him standing triumphant as the flood waters lowered to reveal this paradise. Stories like that are mostly myth, but they contain an element of truth and this place did seem a reward for some great dedication to the Great Mind.

There were some more Feffoids around this area and I picked them off as I walked. With the dense tree cover, I was going to have to search the whole interior of the mountain for a cave or door or whatever the Argonauts might use to enter their hidden fortress. Things were going well and I started to imagine myself back in town and eating a fine dinner in a matter of hours. Then my entire body froze up in an instant. A sound rumbled up from behind some trees and washed over me.

"HISSSSSSS!"

I couldn't believe it.

"HISSSSSSS!"

I should have run but I panicked.

"HISSSSSSS!"

My hands, my arms, and my entire body shook as I lifted the DOA Rockjacker Mentor Edition. In fact, my jaw hung wide open with me powerless to close it. Frantically, I pointed it from tree to tree not sure what to do. Then, it happened. Two trees swung apart, lifted up, and flew apart from each other with violent force. I stepped back and out from the tree cover four gigantic arms, each with a hooked claw at the end, raised to the sky. It was an Araneatrox!

The creature represented the most lethal natural race on the planet. No sentient being, no robot, human, or mutant, wanted to be anywhere near it. The size of a building, its name means "terrible spider" and it's a vicious predator that rips apart prey with its hooked arms. The giant ambled into a clearing in front of me on its four massive legs. My face was white and I still hadn't processed the situation when it rose and hissed again, communicating to me that it had seen me and intended to do something about it.

This was a major threat to my mission. If the spider killed me, I would have to come all the way back here again. I knew I had some of the best gear on Calypso, but I hadn't dreamed of testing it against an Araneatrox. Before I could even try, the beast swung at me with his foreclaw and opened a huge poisonous gash on my leg. Without the Shadow Armor and 5B plates, this hit would have killed me in an instant. I tumbled down and flipped open my Modified First Aid pack. Miraculously, my cut was healed in a flash by the amazing machine. With any other healing kit invented, I thought, I would have died taking one more blow.

As if in annoyed, he struck me again, opening up my arm and chest. With another click of the First Aid Pack, the wound closed up and healed. Now I knew that he could daze me but not knock me out as long as I kept healing myself. But would my weapon have any effect on him? I shot at him but missed. He was as fast as he was dangerous. He continued to pound away at me and I continued to heal myself. I was trying to run away from him to get a clear shot.

Finally, I was able to calm my arm and hand and I landed a hit near his eyes. He barely registered the hit but he did step back a slight bit so this was progress. We continued to fight as I got more comfortable taking hits, healing, and shooting at him. It was a fierce battle, the worst and longest I had been in by far. We danced like that for a few hours and the huge beast began to move slower and slower.

As the sun was setting over the edge of the caldera, I fired a wicked blow and the towering Araneatrox finally fell to his knees. He kept hitting me but he was no longer able to chase me as I ran around the trees. I backed up out of his reach, and fired over and over continuously until his massive frame fell motionless to the ground. A mixture of slime and blood oozed out of his dead carcass. I collapsed to the ground, panting and relieved.

I needed to rest but I was exposed in the middle of a clearing. Ever a conscientious hunter, I blasted open his stomach and found a nice pile of PEDs and ammunition. Then I made haste back to where I had entered the chasm and began to follow the wall. More Feffoids attacked me and died. I barely noticed their attacks after dealing with the mighty spider. At last, in the darkness, I spotted a deep cave in the rocky wall up ahead. Firelight emanated from within and I thought that this might be the place.

Indeed, two Argonaut Guardians patrolled the opening with torches and clubs. I picked up a stick and broke it, making a sound that lured them over to me. They fell to my gun and I looted their bodies. They were very rich and well-armed. This cave had to be the Argonaut lair where the great King Argammemnon ruled his empire, but it was too late and I was too exhausted to enter it now. I had repelled down a mountain, pursued a ringed path full of Feffoids, and fought the mightiest creature on the planet. I couldn't believe how useful the new gear was. My mind buzzed over killing the Araneatrox but it wanted to surrender to my body.

I climbed a short distance up to a rocky outcropping where I could see the Argonaut cave opening but not be seen from below. Pressing myself up against the mountain wall, I tried to calm my mind and fall asleep. It was a rough night, cold and rainy. I kept waking up every few minutes, fearful that a giant Araneatrox would come thrashing out of the trees and pick me apart into a million pieces. Every sound manifested itself as a threat to me and I slept with one hand gripping my gun. Fortunately for me, the beasts of Mount Cerberus also slept that night.




Chapter 12: The Argonaut Cave

May 3, 5006

I was done messing around in the caldera of Mount Cerberus. I no longer considered it a beautiful place and even if the evil master of Akbal-Cimi himself waited inside that Argonaut cave, I was still going in. Plus, I didn't have the time or ammunition for another Araneatrox encounter. I sat up and shook the rain off of my clothing and gear. Again, the design of the Shadow armor proved amazing in that it was dry despite being rained on all night from the rocky cliffs above. I leaned over the edge of the rock slab I had slept on and could see that there were two fresh Guardians patrolling the cave entrance. In the daylight of the early morning, the cave entrance was much ornate than it looked the night before, with fancy carvings on each side and a gigantic stone sculpture of an Atrox's head positioned above the entrance. The craftsmanship betrayed an artistic sense among the Argonauts, or at least their ancient predecessors.

Not in a patient mood, I blasted the Argonauts down with my long range rifle. It didn't matter to me if any other Argonauts heard the shots this time, because I was already climbing down and preparing to mow down whatever came running out of the cave. Nothing did, so I crossed the open patch of grassland and ascended the crude stairway up to the cave. Had any human being ever been here? I doubted it. Not only did they not know to look for the cave, but as far as I knew nobody had explored the interior of Mount Cerberus. It was a tough place with very tough creatures living in it. I didn't allow myself to get cocky, because I remembered my conceit before encountering the Araneatrox.

I raised my DOA Rockjacker, readied my First Aid Pack, and slipped inside. At this point I was tentative, so I hugged the left side of the cave wall and looked around a little before advancing. Many dull thuds and banging filled the air, as if some heavy work was going on deep in the cave. The Argonauts have always been known as miners so I expected that this cave was a working cave in addition to being the royal residence. This was confirmed when I had walked fifty meters and saw an empty mine cart sitting on a rusty track. The cave had large wooden frames over the walkways positioned every so often acting as support against cave-ins and giving the Argonaut cave a look of rugged civilization.

The outside light faded the further I walked. Metal torches fixed to the walls lit the way, and there were many paths down into the depths. Faced with a fork in the cave and five different openings, I made the snap decision to go into the one producing the loud thuds and sounds of hard labor. I knew wherever I went there would be Argonauts, and they were probably going to be angry. So I thought I might as well get the hardest part over with and go where it sounded like most of them were located. This portion of the cave proved to be well-guarded, and I began to fight the further I went down it.

All maturities were present in this bee's hive of Argonauts. Scouts, Gatherers, Hunters and even Warriors noticed me and attacked without pause. They were overwhelming in number, but I kept blasting and healing and they all fell. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but that's hard in a cave and I knew I had to keep moving fast to avoid getting bombarded by every Argonaut in the kingdom. I thought I might be nearing the end of this particular passage because the sounds of manual labor and working grew louder and louder as I advanced. Getting past an angry clump of Argonaut Hunters, I walked out of the passageway into a large, open room. I was not prepared for what I saw in that room.

Thirty or so human men, women and children, deep in this Argonaut cave, sorted and transported ore and enmatter! Great mind, I thought, what is going on here? At first, the humans didn't see me and continued their work, shoveling ore into mine carts so that others could push the carts into the proper sub-chamber. There were veritable mountains of mined material in all colors and types like I had never imagined. The humans were dirty and dejected, trudging back and forth in tattered clothes and unwashed skin. Argonaut Scavengers barked at them and cracked whips in the air, playing the stereotypical role of slave masters. This sickened me.

I snapped and screamed "This is over!" as I leapt into the room and started mowing the Scavengers down. They were no match for me and I barely needed to heal myself as I ran and rolled and destroyed them all. Their dying grunts bellowed through the cave as they fell and dropped their whips. The human slaves were motionless at first, unable to process what was happening. But after the last horrible slave master fell, they began to cry and laugh and hold one another. I was having trouble getting hold of myself so I just stared at them with a dumb look on my face.

"Thank you fearsome warrior, thank you!" said a man who came up to me and embraced me. He continued, "What is your name? Who are you wearing Shadow Armor and fighting so well?"

I snapped to and said,

"I…I am Epic and you are welcome. What is happening here?"

"You mean, you did not come to rescue us?" He looked to his fellow men with worry.

"Well," I said, "I will rescue you but I am here seeking the Argonaut King. I did not know that humans lived here."

"Lived?" barked a woman. "We were kidnapped and taken h

...

 

I think I asked him for the missing chapters and he sent them to me. So this post is a unique precious ;-)

He wrote: "Here you go...thanks for being so enthusiastic. It felt like I put all this work into it and nobody cared. :) Especially MindArk. lol"


Chapter 12: The Argonaut Cave
May 3, 5006
I was done messing around in the caldera of Mount Cerberus. I no
longer considered it a beautiful place and even if the evil master of
Akbal-Cimi himself waited inside that Argonaut cave, I was still
going in. Plus, I didn't have the time or ammunition for another
Araneatrox encounter. I sat up and shook the rain off of my clothing
and gear. Again, the design of the Shadow armor proved amazing in
that it was dry despite being rained on all night from the rocky
cliffs above. I leaned over the edge of the rock slab I had slept on
and could see that there were two fresh Guardians patrolling the
cave entrance. In the daylight of the early morning, the cave
entrance was much ornate than it looked the night before, with fancy
carvings on each side and a gigantic stone sculpture of an Atrox's
head positioned above the entrance. The craftsmanship betrayed an
artistic sense among the Argonauts, or at least their ancient
predecessors.
Not in a patient mood, I blasted the Argonauts down with my long
range rifle. It didn't matter to me if any other Argonauts heard the
shots this time, because I was already climbing down and preparing
to mow down whatever came running out of the cave. Nothing did, so I
crossed the open patch of grassland and ascended the crude stairway
up to the cave. Had any human being ever been here? I doubted it.
Not only did they not know to look for the cave, but as far as I
knew nobody had explored the interior of Mount Cerberus. It was a
tough place with very tough creatures living in it. I didn't allow
myself to get cocky, because I remembered my conceit before
encountering the Araneatrox.
I raised my DOA Rockjacker, readied my First Aid Pack, and slipped
inside. At this point I was tentative, so I hugged the left side of
the cave wall and looked around a little before advancing. Many dull
thuds and banging filled the air, as if some heavy work was going on
deep in the cave. The Argonauts have always been known as miners so
I expected that this cave was a working cave in addition to being
the royal residence. This was confirmed when I had walked fifty
meters and saw an empty mine cart sitting on a rusty track. The cave
had large wooden frames over the walkways positioned every so often
acting as support against cave-ins and giving the Argonaut cave a
look of rugged civilization.
The outside light faded the further I walked. Metal torches fixed to
the walls lit the way, and there were many paths down into the
depths. Faced with a fork in the cave and five different openings, I
made the snap decision to go into the one producing the loud thuds
and sounds of hard labor. I knew wherever I went there would be
Argonauts, and they were probably going to be angry. So I thought I
might as well get the hardest part over with and go where it sounded
like most of them were located. This portion of the cave proved to
be well-guarded, and I began to fight the further I went down it.
All maturities were present in this bee's hive of Argonauts. Scouts,
Gatherers, Hunters and even Warriors noticed me and attacked without
pause. They were overwhelming in number, but I kept blasting and
healing and they all fell. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but
that's hard in a cave and I knew I had to keep moving fast to avoid
getting bombarded by every Argonaut in the kingdom. I thought I
might be nearing the end of this particular passage because the
sounds of manual labor and working grew louder and louder as I
advanced. Getting past an angry clump of Argonaut Hunters, I walked
out of the passageway into a large, open room. I was not prepared
for what I saw in that room.
Thirty or so human men, women and children, deep in this Argonaut
cave, sorted and transported ore and enmatter! Great mind, I
thought, what is going on here? At first, the humans didn't see me
and continued their work, shoveling ore into mine carts so that
others could push the carts into the proper sub-chamber. There were
veritable mountains of mined material in all colors and types like I
had never imagined. The humans were dirty and dejected, trudging
back and forth in tattered clothes and unwashed skin. Argonaut
Scavengers barked at them and cracked whips in the air, playing the
stereotypical role of slave masters. This sickened me.
I snapped and screamed "This is over!" as I leapt into the room and
started mowing the Scavengers down. They were no match for me and I
barely needed to heal myself as I ran and rolled and destroyed them
all. Their dying grunts bellowed through the cave as they fell and
dropped their whips. The human slaves were motionless at first,
unable to process what was happening. But after the last horrible
slave master fell, they began to cry and laugh and hold one another.
I was having trouble getting hold of myself so I just stared at them
with a dumb look on my face.
"Thank you fearsome warrior, thank you!" said a man who came up to
me and embraced me. He continued, "What is your name? Who are you
wearing Shadow Armor and fighting so well?"
I snapped to and said,
"I…I am Epic and you are welcome. What is happening here?"
"You mean, you did not come to rescue us?" He looked to his fellow
men with worry.
"Well," I said, "I will rescue you but I am here seeking the
Argonaut King. I did not know that humans lived here."
"Lived?" barked a woman. "We were kidnapped and taken here as
slaves! And we have wondered if the people or government of Calypso
knew. Obviously they did not, but you are here and we are free."
A cheer went out across the room. The slaves discarded their mining
picks and shovels with disgust and began to group together near me.
For an hour, I nearly forgot my purpose as they flooded me with
heartbreaking stories. Children had been taken from parents, and
siblings and couples had been separated both before and after
capture. I asked them how long they had been there. Some had been
there for years, and others for months, which proved that the
kidnappings were ongoing. Most had been kidnapped from Hadesheim but
others from very remote places like Fort Zeus.
It seemed that kidnapping was contagious, the Argonauts doing it in
their own crude way as the robots took their share of human life via
the subtle beacon technology. This was disgusting. Once kidnapped,
they were made to live in dirty caves and were pushed around by the
gruff Argonauts. The humans were brought to Mount Cerberus to work
in the mines because the Argonauts had embarked on the largest
mining project in their history. This seemed suspicious and I began
to make the connection between Argonauts clearing the land through
mining, and Umbranoids following them and burying the robot ship
transmitter beacons. It was all falling into place. I interrupted
the storytelling:
"Do you know anything of robot collaboration with the Argonauts?"
"Absolutely!" answered an indignant woman. "We have to see those
horrible robots all the time."
"And they take some of us," added a small girl, who began to cry.
"Are you serious?" I said. This was getting worse.
"Yes I'm afraid I am," the same woman said. Later, I would come to
know this woman as a close friend. Her name was Mindstar and she had
been acting as a matriarch for the younger slaves in the cave,
helping them to be tough and deal with the harsh reality of capture.
When she spoke, the others listened and she spoke at length about
the situation:
"This little girl has lost two siblings to the robots. They come
here regularly and meet with the king. We don't know the exact
details but the robot are working with the Argonauts on some big
scheme. Every time the robots visit, they motion towards us and seem
to be ordering the Argonauts to hand us over. The king usually
refuses, instead preferring to keep his slave labor, but on certain
days he must appease the robot overlords and give some of us to
them. So, they are wrenched from our arms and given to cold
machines. The robots teleport away with our family and friends and
we never see them again. We all worry that if they are taken away
from Calypso and die, it will be permanent."
I stared down at the ground. Then Mindstar read my mind,
"You might be wondering why we haven't committed suicide so that we
could revive outside of this mountain. The Argonauts know we can do
this so they threaten us. They say for every human who commits
suicide or kills another human, the Argonauts will send five of us
with the robots to be released into empty space above the atmosphere
of Calypso. In addition to that threat, we are monitored every
second of every day in case we even think about committing suicide.
There has been no joy here, I promise you."
I lowered my head and nodded in sympathy. I then told the people
everything I knew. I told them I had first found proof of a
conspiracy involving Unbranoids. I told them that I had been able to
connect the Umbranoids with the Argonauts. I then told them about my
capture via a beacon and robot ship and my encounter with Lord
Telleton. They could hardly believe it and hung on my every word,
hoping to understand what their missing brethren had gone through
after being given to the robots. I told them I had discovered the
location of this cave and come here alone because I did not trust
anyone.
"You have done a great job Epic, and you are a hero," replied a man
who I later found out was named Bloodmoon.
"We can debate that later, my friend" I said with a smile. "But now
is the time for action. You people have been here in this cave much
longer than me and I am already starting to get tired of it."
They nodded in agreement and gave me directions to the lair of King
Argamemmnon of the Argonauts. I was to go back to the five-road fork
and take the third one over. They warned me of fierce resistance and
told me that there were a dozen more slaves in direct service to the
king so that I would be careful. I offered to shoot them all right
then, in order to send them back to the revival terminal and safety.
But they declined, saying that if they were to leave the cave and I
was to get killed, the Argonauts would slaughter the rest of the
slaves in anger and pursue the freed victims across Eudoria. Then
the people each came up to me and hugged me, and I was moved to
tears. If ever I was motivated to do anything in my life, it was to
get to the king's throne room and end this so I could go back to the
cities of Calypso.



Chapter 13: His Majesty
May 3, 5006
Taking leave of the mining cavern and the people, I allowed a wave
of hatred and revenge to wash over me. My brow furrowed and my
pupils dilated as I rushed back to the five-way fork in the cave. A
few Argonauts that had come down towards the mining cave to
investigate died quickly. There was simply no way I was going to let
the slaves down. Very quickly, I was back at the five-way fork in
the cave and I took the pathway as told to me by the human slaves.
They were right about facing increased resistance.
Even at the beginning of the long tunnel, I encountered strong
Argonauts. These were all Scavengers and Warriors. But as any
seasoned fighter knows, a setup that can take down an Araneatrox can
definitely take down multiple tough Argonauts. It was slow going but
I made my way past waves of attacking mutants. This cave had many
adjuncts and arteries, and it would have been easy to get lost but
Bloodmoon had instructed me to follow the widest path and the
increasing firelight that came from the massive throne room. I could
also hear the din of activity growing louder and louder.
Halfway there, I ran past a large open cavity in the side of the
cave wall and was ambushed from behind and in front by a gang of
fierce Argonaut Leaders! This was bad, and the enemies were so
tightly packed and close to me that I was forced to drop to the
ground and shoot them from below, lying on my back. I barely had
enough spare millimeters to activate my First Aid Pack, but I did
manage to flip it open just in time and heal myself for the next
volley of firepower. I blasted with fury, ammunition ripping through
the Rockjacker and empty shells clanging down on the rocky floor.
Eventually, the Argonauts started to fall.
The slain corpses acted as good cover so I pulled some to me and
continued attacking in circular fashion. I was sweating like a
Snarksnot. The fists and the clubs of the Argonauts continued to
land blows on my Shadow Armor but they began to slow as the
perpetrators died. In a moment to preserve my sanity I thought about
how nice a shower would be right now. Hard core hunting can be
rewarding but it's never clean and I picked twitching flesh and
brain matter off my body as I attempted to stand up out of the
corpse pile. The Leaders were dead and King Argamemnon sat
unprotected.
I rolled over the pile and continued up and over a hilly part of the
cave path. After a long run, the passageway grew bright as day and I
stopped to snipe a few guards near the entrance. I tucked myself up
along the wall and advanced. Finally I could creep over and peer
into the throne room. It was quite a sight. Shaped like a narrow row
house, the throne room and hall contained rows of crude wooden
tables. In front of these, and furthest from me, a raised portion of
the floor joined with the throne area.
The golden throne of the Argonaut Empire rose majestically from a
higher platform. This part of the room featured stunning designs of
pure gold. The king himself, Argamemnon, sat perched at the front of
his throne, conversing with two Drone Coordinators while he leaned
on a golden scepter. This day was feeling like a freakish nightmare.
The king was a large Argonaut as I had expected, and very old with
mostly grey body hair and a long, grey beard. His wrinkled skin and
drab appearance was contrasted by the shining golden crown he wore.
Though he looked a bit frail, he still carried a regal presence and
the other Argonauts bowed to his every command.
This was surely the scene in which this entire conspiracy had begun,
with robot ambassadors making promises they never intended to keep
and King Argamemnon putting the orders into action through his
network of bullies who would deliver beacons to the Umbranoids and
kidnap human slaves. I couldn't help but wonder just how many of the
pivotal events in Calypso history this king had witnessed or helped
to manipulate from his rocky keep. I thought of the ancient myth I
had read and wondered how many additional stories this king was a
part of, recited by his people in their archaic grunting language.
His people sat below and in front of the king at the wooden tables.
They chewed raw Exarosaur flesh and drank muddy water. I wondered
why this scene was so calm, given that a rogue human being was
running through the cavern killing every Argonaut in sight. Perhaps
in their conceit they never imagined me getting past the waves and
waves of defenders. Also, they might not have heard the battle I had
just fought with the Argonaut Leaders over their own grunting and
slurping of food. I had entered the cave quickly this morning but
had been slowed down by finding the humans. If these Argonauts knew
I was here, they didn't act like it.
Scanning the room, I spotted the dozen or so human slaves serving
them. The Argonauts barked and grunted at them, making harsh demands
and rudely throwing the servants down to the floor if were not
bringing enough meat or filling their glasses quickly enough. I
wondered how many months and years these poor souls had spent
placating monsters. This whole sadistic symphony needed to be
destroyed. I couldn't think of any creative way to get to the king
without any resistance. I thought of taking a hostage, but the
Argonauts are brutal beings and I don't think any of them would have
minded sacrificing another.
Lacking any diplomatic angle, I started shooting. The drones fell
first to my long range weapon, in case they decided to communicate
with the mother ship. The king displayed a look of terror on his
face, and he motioned to his lieutenants to rush and destroy me.
They fell to my Rockjacker. I slowly stepped through the room,
healing when I could and shooting at the Argonauts the rest of the
time. Suffice to say, they stopped eating. I could see the look of
joy on the faces of the human slaves and they backed away into the
shadows of the room to provide me ample killing space. I was getting
closer to the king and had taken out of half of the highest ranking
members of Argonaut society. Then the fighting ended.
"ENOUGH!" screamed King Argamemnon and he slammed his scepter down
on the floor.
For the first time in my life, I heard an Argonaut speak in human
language. The command shocked his fellow Argonauts as much as it did
me and the fighting stopped. I was relieved because I was exhausted
and getting low on ammunition, but in my zeal I would have started
swinging that gun at their heads if I had to. The Argonauts that
were still alive retreated from me and I stood still, watching the
king.
"It is obvious that you could kill all of us if you want," he
cackled, in a voice that sounded a thousand years old. "So before
you do, tell us why you are here."
I lowered my gun. I was becoming quite the celebrity interviewer,
having talked to an Umbranoid, Lord Telleton, and now the King of
all Argonauts.
"Well your highness," I said with sarcasm. "I am here to avenge the
deaths of the humans you kidnapped and killed."
The king squirmed. "What do you mean?" he croaked.
"I know about the plan, with the robots and the Umbranoids and the
beacons. I don't think I need to go into any more detail."
The king cocked his massive eye ridge and looked at a few of his
trusted associates. His anger was eroding into a look of defeat.
"Who told you about this place?" he hissed.
"Your buddy Argusudu" I said, referring to the ancient figure in the
manuscript I had found.
"Argusudu!" he boomed, and promptly fell to his knees with an
anguished look. He lifted his arms in the kneeling position and said
aloud "Argusudu we have betrayed you!"
The king began to weep and his upper body dropped to the ground. The
other Argonauts also dropped to their knees and bowed, reciting an
ancient mantra of religious devotion. The mere mention of Argusudu
had turned them from ready combatants to apologetic devotees. I
reminded myself that these were sentient beings, and I began to feel
some remorse for killing so many of them. It was a surreal moment,
watching mighty beasts praying and chanting in unison around their
fallen comrades. I watched for a number of minutes, and then noticed
the timid human slaves standing near the edges of the room.
I motioned for them to come over to me and we had a tearful embrace.
I told them I wanted to talk with them but we needed to get out of
there and the miners were waiting for us. The poor people were
filthy and mentally broken, but their suffering was coming to an end
and their vitality was returning to them. One of the slaves looked
strong so I leant him my A-3 Justifier MK V and told him to keep it
pointed at the king until I got back. I gave the rest of them
Argonaut clubs so they could keep the rest of the mutants honest.
It took less than a half hour for me to sprint back to the miners
and bring them to the throne room. When we got back, the Argonauts
were still praying and the humans were still in control. That was a
great relief to me. Now the two groups of former slaves commiserated
and smiled, knowing they were free. The whole thing was overwhelming
to me but Bloodmoon kept me on track. He informed me that the
Argonauts kept a storehouse of loot, including robot technology and
beacons.
Some of the people took me there and we used seismic bombs to
destroy every beacon and communication device, save for a few I took
with me intended for the researchers at RDI. This was going to put
an end to the partnership between the robots and Argonauts. I then
told everyone to take as much gold as they could carry and keep it
close to their bodies so that the revival process would include it.
It seemed that we were ready to leave, but Mindstar pulled me aside.

"Epic, there is one more human left in this cave." She seemed a
little hesitant to tell me.
"Really?" I asked in surprise. "Where let's go get this person."
The people all looked at each other nervously and then nodded in
approval. Near the storeroom was a primitive prison cell. They led
me over to it and I was horrified to see Trob Tedser sitting in the
corner, almost naked and singing an absurd nursery rhyme. He had
clearly been driven mad during the last few months.
"Trob Tedser…what's a traitor like you doing in a place like this?"
I remembered how he had known about the conspiracy almost from the
beginning.
"Mr. Epic master!" he whined, "you have come to save me, tra la tra
la!"
The others informed me that Trob was indeed the traitor I suspected
he was, because he was working as a translator between the Argonauts
and the Umbranoids and teaching some of them human speech. After
questioning him, I felt vindicated because it he had prevented me
from meeting with anyone from RDI and had even caused RDI to shut
down after the kidnapping of Neils Barton. I also regained my
confidence in the government of Calypso because Trob was just a
simple traitor not involved with anyone else. Trob was in the prison
cell because he was found wearing the king's crown and sitting on
his throne a few months previous.
"We'll let the courts decide your fate," I said to Trob.
"Cheese? I love cheese," he replied and we all shook our heads.
Dragging him with us, we returned to the throne room. The
lieutenants of the king were attending to the wounded and dead while
Argamemnon stared at the floor in dismay.
"Let's go home people," I said.
It was quite the scene, people smiling and hugging one another as
they lined up to be shot to death. But that's what the technology of
our time has brought us. We made sure to kill the strongest men
first, so they could be at the revival terminal to protect the
others in case there were any aggressive creatures nearby. Trob was
among the last I shot, so that there would be a good number of
people ready to capture him when he revived. Finally, the only
beings left in the room were myself, King Argammemnon, and a few
dozen Argonauts. As I prepared to kill myself, I turned to the King.

"Under different circumstances, I would have appreciated the chance
to study your people."
He glared at me with hatred. I continued, savoring the moment.
"But I want to make something very clear to all of you."
I looked around the room.
"Nobody screws with the humans, not you, not the robots…nobody.
Betray us again, and your entire race will be annihilated. Have a
nice day."
I smiled, pointed my DOA Rockjacker Mentor Edition at my chest, and
pulled the trigger. Seconds later, I recombined in the shop
container amidst the cheers of freed slaves. They lifted me up above
their shoulders and we began the happiest march back to a city in
the history of Calypso.



Chapter 14: Mood Swing
June 1, 5006
What a year! The misgivings and depression that I felt when I first
landed on Calypso are gone. I love this planet and its people. I am
no longer a bitter misanthrope on the fringes of society. I've made
many friends and even a few fans during the last month. Am I famous
now? Maybe, who knows? More than that just I feel thankful and lucky
to have saved so many lives. Ideally, I would have loved to spend
the last month reflecting on my mission and accomplishments and
visiting the former slaves and their families. In this war, however,
there are few breaks in the tension.
Immediately following my return from the Argonaut cave, Lord
Telleton launched a horrendous onslaught of machine forces against
Calypso. His pride was wounded after his recent failures. During the
intense battles, wave after wave of drones and warriors assaulted
the teleporters on Amathera. We met these attacks by teleporting a
group of fighters at once, and then blasting out in a circle so that
reinforcements could teleport in.
As the battles continued, the colonists began picking apart the
broken robots. Most were just carrying junk. But a precious few were
holding advanced transmitters. RDI was able to study them, along
with the communication devices I had retrieved from the Argonaut
cave, and reverse engineer them to get readout on all robot activity
on Calypso. This allowed us to have whole brigades of fighters
stationed exactly where the drones and warriors beamed down and soon
enough, the attacks stopped. It was a brave and happy chapter in the
war.
Until they upgrade, we will know every movement the robots make and
we are now looking at a solid period of temporary peace. We
established sensors all around Mount Cerberus to prevent another
robot ambassador or even communication being sent to King
Argamemnon. His activities will also be easier to follow now that
the Federal Empire is aware of his existence. Imperial scouts have
been positioned in key places to watch him day and night.
As for the Argonauts, they will regroup but their morale is low and
as it turns out most of the common Argonauts did not know about the
king's actions. RDI field researchers report a sharp decrease in
their hostility towards humans, as if they feel sorry and are trying
to make it up to us. Many townspeople have reported giant deliveries
of ore and enmatter appearing in the middle of the night. Only the
Argonauts could have done this. In a symbolic gesture, much of this
material was used to build a memorial to the brave colonists who
never came back from being kidnapped.
It also helps my outlook that I'm a richer man now. Upon recognition
of my deeds the Federal Empire put me on a monthly stipend of 10,000
peds. While that's not enough money to build my super fleet of ships
and quantum bombs for an all-out assault on Akbal-Cimi, I'm closer
than I was a year ago. Furthermore, the esteemed Neverdie has given
me a shop in his impressive shopping mall as a token of
appreciation. He tells me that great profits can be made in his
asteroid operation. We'll see. A visit to Club Neverdie to set it up
will surely be my next adventure when my life calms down.
I have an apartment full of flowers and gifts and letters which will
take me the rest of the year to read. It's pretty overwhelming to a
guy who couldn't get a stranger to give him the time of day a year
ago. RDI has appointed me as an honorary researcher for all of the
information I've discovered about mutants and robots and for
providing them with the vital communication devices.
Also, the hunting gear LT loaned me is now mine to keep! The
mysterious rich backer he knows has given it to me for my good work.
I am dying to thank him but LT is not allowed to tell me who he is.
I've had a lot of fun surprising my friends by knocking on their
door in full Shadow armor. Perhaps best of all, the Ambassador to
Earth has pulled some major strings and sent me an entire crate of
the finest cigars known to man! I'm smoking one now, as I finish
this account.
Who am I forgetting? Oh, there was some further development in the
sad story of Professor Neils Barton. His body parts were recovered
by field scouts and promptly sold as a commodity in a move you might
only see on Calypso. Deathifier, ever the entrepreneur, purchased
the parts and used the DNA to create a new hunting beast called a
"Globster." Apparently it has become a very profitable enterprise. I
refuse to hunt the creature after I visited Treasure Island and
looked into one of the Globster's eyes. It looked like a hopeless
professor Barton was staring back at me, pleading me not to kill
him.
Mindstar and Bloodmoon have adopted all of the children who lost
their parents in the Argonaut mine. The former slaves have become
instant celebrities on the planet, appearing on talk shows and being
interviewed by the GBN Network. Later today, I'm going to visit a
few of them and check up on them. They look so happy and healthy on
television. Trob Tedser has, of course, been fired amid disgrace.
The last we heard of him, he was destitute and shacking up with a
Calumasoid woman, no doubt enamored with her physique.
I think that's everything. My biggest problem these days is deciding
what to do next. I do still enjoy my time alone, hunting or studying
animals and mutants. I hardly ever think of my old life on Earth now
and given the chance I wouldn't go back. During reflective moments,
I am reminded of the sad Umbranoid Male Gatherer who ran from me
when the meteor hit. He was just a pawn in a much larger game and
symbolic of the way that small forces combine with big ones. Most
likely, the Umbranoids will just wait for the next group of people
to control them and tell them what to do next. All sentient beings,
whether human, robot, or mutant, are subject to the dangers of greed
and imperialism.
Akbal Cimi isn't done waging war on us, not by a long shot, but the
kidnapping conspiracy is finished. The colonists know to treat the
Argonauts as their enemies and the beacons have all been found and
destroyed. As the summer comes, I have personally helped to give
Calypso a bit of peace and it makes me very proud. Today is a brief
chance to take one's mind off the war, to gather with friends in the
lush green fields of Eudoria and watch the butterflies twirl around
the grasses and fruits. Humanity today smiles and laughs amidst the
chaos of war, knowing we will win and prepared for anything.
THE END

 

Hurray! I found my old layout of Calypso Blues. Man! I was better than expected. Probably I will finish it one day.

 

Sometimes ...
Ulla Braun, called Jamira, 36, colonist of Calypso, hunter.

What’s that? Why am I here?

Sometimes at quiet evenings I’m standing in front of my window, staring out, thinking nothing, watching the trees moving slowly in the wind. And after a while I scare up, cannot remember how long I stood there without thoughts and feelings, with my mind blown away into a white endless emptyness.
Sometimes …

Then I sit down and light another cigarette and have another bourbon. Such moments … with foolish questions. What has become of you, Ulla? Which fate was mighty enough to transform you into such a bloodthirsty monster? Yes, yes! We all say the rosary ever and ever: We keep Calypso clean from mobs and bots to make it safe. We keep Calypso clean. Oh! What a strong hunter you are, Jamira! Swinger of the evil blades. Deathbringer. No, you don’t fear the mobs anymore! But all this screaming, roaring and howling while fighting the mobs. All this blood and frazzled flesh and the cracks of breaking bones … and all this yells of death!

What has become of you!!

Sometimes I sit at the river west of Limnaden District and watch the waters flowing beside my feets. Sorruonded by green meadows and listening to all the noises of the nature. Birds chirp, the water gurgles and smacks. Far away an Allophyl is screaming. That reminds me to my youth. When I was a young girl I lived close to such a river. It was as twice as wide. But there were the same noises and the meadows looked very familiar. And most important: It’s the same smell! Oh, I love the smell of rivers (with a small dash of dead fish).

Sitting at the shores my thoughts went back to planet Earth and I wonder if it was the right decision to leave it. At that time everything seemed clear. No doubt about it. It was the one and only way to solve all my problems. To lay down all the burdens. To win back a cool breeze. To get a bit light back to my life. But now I feel so blue again. Sometimes …

Did I change one morbid prison to another?