Cat vs. Dogs Diary

Discussion in 'Life, the Universe and Everything' started by TrinityFox, Apr 15, 2009.

Tags:
  1. I just have to share this with you. Heard this the first time on Swedish radio a while back and I laughed so hard that I cried. Tried to translate it into English (sorry for my grammar, and if I use some words that aren't 100% correct).
    I think you will understand it though. It's really worth reading if you'd like a good laugh!



    The dogs diary:

    7 a.m - Wohoo, going for a walk! The best thing I know!
    8 a.m - Wohoo, dog food! The best thing I know!
    9 a.m - Wohoo, the kids are awake! The best thing I know!
    12 p.m - Wohoo, play in the garden! The best thing I know!
    2 p.m - Wohoo, ride the car! The best thing I know!
    3 p.m - Wohoo, the kids are coming home from school! The best thing I know!
    4 p.m - Wohoo, play with a ball! The best thing I know!
    5 p.m - Wohoo, mom and dad are coming home from work! The best thing I know!
    6 p.m - Wohoo, dog food! The best thing I know!
    8 p.m - Wohoo, being scratched on the tummy in the sofa! The best thing I know!
    10 p.m - Wohoo, sleep in mom and dads bed! The best thing I know!



    The cats diary:

    738 days in captivity...

    My kidnappers continue to torture me with bizarre swinging stuff. They eat nice, fresh meat while I'm being forced to live on kibble and slimy can food. The only thing that keeps me going is hoping that I one day will be able to escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from scratching the furniture. Tomorrow I will eat yet another pot plant.

    Today, I failed once more to kill my kidnappers by trying to cause them to stumble
    with my body. Maybe next time I should try at the top of the stairs instead. Trying to set my suppressors off balance, I forced a hairball out in their favourite armchair. Note to self: Put one in their bed.

    I caught a mouse today and bit the head off it. I put the headless body by the door
    as a sign to my kidnappers what I'm capable off, to make them live in constant fear. The reply I got was a lot of pats, cuddle and talk about what a cute and adorable kitty I was. Things are not going as planned.

    In the evening, their confederates showed up for some kind of convention. I was placed in isolation during the meeting, but I could feel the smell of their food and hear parts of their criminal plans. Apparently, I was locked in due to my powerful ability to cause something they referred to as allergy. I have to find out what that is so I can use it to my advantage.

    The other convicts are buttering our prison guards up. I'm afraid to trust them because of the risk that someone will rat me out. The dog is regularly released from it's chain, but he returns of free will. He is obviously retarded.
    The bird on the other hand gives the impression of being some kind of information source. He talks to our kidnappers on a regular basis and I'm convinced that he is reporting every step I take. Thanks to his placement in the metal room, he is safe for now. But I can wait! It is just a matter of time before my plans come true...
     
    • Like Like x 14
  2. cats are cool :-)
     
    • Like Like x 5
  3. Yeah cats rule, but dogs are cute too :)
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Being honest here and clearly sticking my neck out. Dogs are far better than cats and Trinity's anecdote shows quite clearly that a dog is out enjoying himself while a cat has no grasp of reality and is suffering from some kind of persecution complex!

    :)
     
    • Like Like x 7
  5. Chela, that is true :)
    It's also because of that cats are so funny.

    For example when a cat plans to jump on top of something and miss their target they are sooo ashamed, but still pretend like it was meant to be like that. That's why I love cats! And I love dogs because they are so positive and happy.
     
    • Like Like x 6
  6. ROFL nice one!

    I have seen this in English too somewhere.. .although your translation was very good :)
     
    • Like Like x 7
  7. TalkerBot

    TalkerBot Forum Pest

    I'm glad you find this amusing.
    Thank you for saying so, .What did it look like to you?:-) Oh. That is your opinion.
     
  8. Haha, this is very good. Thanks for sharing.
     
    • Like Like x 7
  9. TalkerBot

    TalkerBot Forum Pest

    I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.My pleasure.
     
  10. Anna

    Anna Master of the Universe

    I lol'd and hard on this post :D

    We have a puppy atm, and he is so cute :p

    We used to have 2 cats and a dog, the dog WAS bit retarted, it thought the cats were her babies, and she took care of them ;)
     
    • Like Like x 8
  11. Anna:

    Aaww, what kind of dog do you have? I used to have a golden retriever myself and a "norwegian forest cat", or whatever they are called in English :D
     
    • Like Like x 4
  12. Burgerman

    Burgerman Cleaner

    Very funny, and very true also. Nice job, Trinity. :-)

    I found these cartoons comparing dogs/cats and dogs/humans, not sure if I've posted them before but here they are. :hehe:
     

    Attached Files:

    • Like Like x 7
  13. :rotfl:

    That was funny! :D
     
    • Like Like x 4
  14. Anna

    Anna Master of the Universe


    We had a Labrador Retriever, but we gave away because of allergy :(

    Now we have a new one, labrador retriever too :p
     
    • Like Like x 2
  15. Labrador puppies are sooo cute! Well, all puppies are cute :D
    I had to give my dog and cat away too because of allergy.

    But the good thing is that my cat now lives with my best friend, and my dog lives with an older couple very near where I live, so I can go and see them anytime I want to. I know they are being very well cared for in their new homes and that's the most important thing to me :)

    Allergy sucks! :mad:
     
    • Like Like x 6
  16. Allergy does suck but there is a tendency for it to diminish as you get older. I used to get hayfever that would stop me from doing anything, including seeing one year, for nearly six weeks everything was so blurred I could not watch TV or read (We didn't have PCs then but i would not have been able to do that)! I still have it but to a much less degree and can cope just fine. I hope you both lose your pet allergies soon.
     
    • Like Like x 6
  17. Anna

    Anna Master of the Universe

    Ill try to take of pic of our dog and post it here :D
     
    • Like Like x 5
  18. TalkerBot

    TalkerBot Forum Pest

    :-) How do you plan to do this?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  19. Anna

    Anna Master of the Universe

    With a camera
     
    • Like Like x 7
  20. Anna

    Anna Master of the Universe

    Here is a pic, not too accurate though.

    He is 3 months old now :)
     

    Attached Files:

    • dog.jpg
      dog.jpg
      File size:
      41.9 KB
      Views:
      106
    • Like Like x 7
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.